Posted on March 13, 2019
I’ll admit, I was a tad nervous about seeing a double mime act. I’m not the biggest fan of mine – but the fact that it was a Capital E production made me take the plunge and go.
My friend and I dragged our two and four year-olds to the Harbourside Convention Centre at Macs after dropping our big kids off at school.
The show was kicking off as we snuck in, late as always.
Bounding onto the stage, Japanese performers Masa and Hitoshi, had a phenomenal amount of energy. From the second they were on stage, they had the attention of our kids. My Hammy, 4, lost his mind laughing within seconds of their first skit.
It involved a rubber duckie’s lost squeak and I have never heard my little one laugh so hard at a show before. He even snorted. This is exactly what you want from a show.
Masa and Hitoshi perfectly blend mime with slapstick. And what kid doesn’t love slapstick? They have so much energy and they’re just completely charming. They dance and flip and move seamlessly around the simple set.
Some of the later skits in the show went over our kids’ head – you need to know the concept of a window washer to get a skit about window washing. But the older kids in the audience – 5+ school children seemed to absolutely love it.
There was audience participation and lots of ways to get involved by clapping and cheering the dynamic duo on.
It’s also silent – so if you take a little one, they may loudly say “I want to go on the iPad” near the end of it, shaming you as a parent in public. You will also be noticed if you open up a packet of chips.
In terms of entertainment for adults, I’d missed my morning coffee in my rush and I still loved it. I laughed my head off at the massage chair skit and left with a very big smile on my face.
I am considering taking my older son this weekend, as I know he’d enjoy it the most – the karate and physical humour complete with stinky feet references are just perfect for that over-five age group.
Buy your ticket here! Remember, Capital E has a 3 for 2 Ticket Offer. You can select your three favourite shows for $33! They also have a pay-it-forward offer so you can support kids who can’t afford to see these shows.
Read my review of another Capital E show on as part of the National Arts Festival Schools programme: Mozart’s Magical Musical Circus.
I’ve been a long-time supporter of Capital E and I’m proud to work with them to bring you reviews x
Posted on March 12, 2019
If there’s anything more joyful, more life-affirming, than sitting in a theatre, surrounded by children who are utterly delighted by art – I don’t know what it is.
The other day I was lucky enough to see Wolfgang’s Magical Musical Circus at The Opera House.
The Opera House was packed full of kids as part of Capital E’s Arts Festival for schools and even before the show started the atmosphere was pretty electric. I mean what kid isn’t excited about the circus? But it seemed to be more than that – it was about being in the hallowed Opera House and getting to attend something really special.
The kids all around me were quiet and filled with anticipation. There was a huge OOOOooooh! as the lights went down. From then, it was all on.
What can you say about Wolfgang’s Magical Musical Circus? It is absolutely magical. It completely engaged the audience of mostly six and seven year-olds from start to finish.
I have been to so many shows (good and bad) at The Opera House – I have never, ever heard a reaction like I did to this show. The children were absolutely riveted. They were dead silent and then as the incredible performers flipped and landed indescribable feats they would erupt in cheers and applause.
The performers were absolutely charming. The story was simple – no need for extras when you’re balancing upside down on a bicycle! Their talent literally took your breath away (the young boys behind me in particular seemed to hold their breath during every stunt and then breathlessly whisper FAAAAAR HOW DID SHE DO THAT).
I loved that the woman performer Kathryn O’Keeffe was so strong and powerful. She was the “base” and “Mozart” often landed on her much to the wonder of the children. I thought they had incredible chemistry and later found out they’re married! Paul O’Keefe, her husband, was just as impressive and Gareth Chin on the accordion was so cheeky and mischievous, I couldn’t help but smile every moment he was on stage.
Every seemingly impossible landing just blew the minds of the kids in the audience. They really reacted like it was magic. I heard so many comments like “She can’t do that! WOW! She is so strong!”
My friend and I were blown away too, this is definitely a show for the whole family. It didn’t once drag and it entertained us all – including our very tired two and four year-olds.
It really is a must-see – the costumes, the props, the dare-devil stunts (you will watch some from between you fingers!), and the glorious music all combine for a truly delightful experience.
Created just for our tamariki, the National Arts Festival brings national and international artists to Wellington, then invites all of the regions school children to attend! The shows are incredible diverse, everything from acrobatics, 3D shadow puppets, music, street performance, to comedy, and dance. The National Arts Festival is described as a celebration of performance and that couldn’t be truer.
Created by Yaron Lifschitz with Benjamin Knapton and the Circa Ensemble this incredible show comes to us from Australia. Absolutely don’t miss out!
Support Capital E so they can keep supporting our kids – Book your ticket now.
I’ve been a long-time supporter of Capital E and I’m proud to work with them to bring you reviews x
Posted on March 3, 2019
Films I have seen (was meant to be dispatches as well but FUCK WORDPRESS).
On The Basis Of Sex: It seems quite anti-feminist to point out that Armie Hammer is so aggressively attractive in this film that I actually squirmed in my seat in an extremely public manner. But here I am. Because absolutely without control of my senses while watching this film I said out loud: Fucking Hell when he was shown wearing sunglasses? I mean Ruth Bader Ginsberg is a badass and thank goodness for feminism. But also, if you’re going to cast someone to offensively hot – well, you know what you’re doing don’t you. 15 stars out of a possible 16 stars. Would have given one more star if my husband agreed to wear silk Pyjamas but instead he just looked at me and said “Are you high?” It’s a very good film though. Way less grim than you’d think it would be.
Colette – I really wanted to like this film. I was super excited about seeing it because the trailer looked super thirsty and period dramas with dames hooking up and wearing suits is my fave genre. But it’s honestly like 1500 hours long and though the story itself is super interesting it really needs….an editor. And yes, that’s a pun about writing. And yes, I need an editor. But also, I was watching it like GOD THIS IS LONG then Keira Knightly would be pashing a hot lady or a trans guy and I’d be like WOW THIS IS GOOD but then it would stop and go back to this like endless storyline about how men are terrible and like, homie I already knew that. Would I look good in a jaunty straw hat?C
Mary Queen of Scots: I spent a great deal of my history classes quite drunk. We used to go to Zibbos on a Wednesday night and dance all night and then go to school the next day stinking of booze and smokes and probably sex after dancing to Ludacris and/or EVE and/or that one P-Money album. Point being I didn’t know anything about these queens so I quite enjoyed this. If enjoy is the right word – it’s grim. Everyone is all like QUEEN! You’re a QUEEN these days but I’m quite happy not to be because I don’t want small pox or syphilis all over my face you know. Margot Robbie and Impossible Name Irish actress are quite incredible as they always are. Some scenes gave me goosebumps. And if you don’t know you’re history it’s all a surprise twist ending right?
Vox Lux: Look I don’t know. This film is intense and thinks it is maybe a little bit more clever than it actually is but I am bisexual and it’s in our contract that we support everything Natalie Portman does when she has a butch haircut. It has a randomly violent opener if you’re like me and hate randomly violent things. Jude Law looks like that old guy you had sex with when you were a teenager in a hotel room and years later when you grew up and knew your worth you said – What the fuck, how lucky was that guy to have sex with me?
Green Book: Did I ever write a review about this? I can’t even remember. It’s not a memorable film. I know it won best actor but I mean I only think the acting was good – the story itself is very white saviour. Afterward I Googled Viggo Mortensen and could not at all believe that he wasn’t Italian so there you go. Mahershala Ali is perfect but he always is. See Moonlight instead.
Bohemian Rhapsody: Not gay enough.
Isn’t it romantic?: I enjoyed this more than I should have which annoys me because I wanted to be all: this sucks so much. That’s not to say there isn’t stupid fat girl jokes the whole way through it (I won’t blame Rebel for this because I imagine she gets far worse scripts and a girl’s gotta work). It has a Hemsworth in it so I mean that probably elevates it a half dozen points. And Pryanka Choprah who is Pryanka Choprah. So that’s probably another 10 points. I don’t know, it’s fine if you have your period and you’re eating potato salad straight from a giant bowl. Minus 25 points for a bad Australian accent.
Posted on February 25, 2019
So, the other day I read some article about In The Cut and how Meg Ryan had lost her career after being in that film because we live in a misogynist horror show of which we can never escape.
Anyway – I thought to myself – I am sure I’ve seen that film. And then I read that it had The Ruff AKA Mark “Daddy” Ruffalo in it. And I thought – YES I remember this! It came out in 2003 and I remember, because I was an idiot, that I did not find Mark Ruffalo attractive and I thought he was hairy and I did not appreciate his moustache.
Now I am 33 and it’s 2019 and I’m the rosé drinking cliché wine mum watching dirty Netflix films on her phone while her kid snores beside her and her husband sleeps awkwardly in a bunk bed in the other room. And I am all about his hairy chest and commitment to eating out (both kinds) and I love that soft boi dad body.
So I decided I had to revisit In The Cut and let me tell you ladies who like dudes and the occasional gay guy who reads my posts: It was WORTH IT.
To be clear it’s not like a particularly great movie in that it has random gore and violence (it sticks closely to its’ source material – the VERY good book by Susanna Moore of the same name) which I do not like. And it has cops in it – usually not sexy for me. BUT its shortcomings are more than made up for in that very soon into the film Mark Ruffalo utters the line:
Hey, listen…I can be whatever you want me to be. You want me to romance you, take you to a classy restaurant, no problem. You want me to be your best friend and fuck you? Treat you good, lick your pussy? No problem.
NOW EXCUSE ME. FIRST OF ALL. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.
Mark Ruffalo with a filthy moustache telling me this is exactly what I needed on a Sunday night after my kid pissed the bed again and I had to change the sheets again before 10pm.
And then, AND THEN, they have an extended scene where he does basically as promised to Meg Ryan and thank you Jane Campion for a solid three minutes or so of Mark Ruffalo going to town and an unashamedly lady gaze view of his butt and then a surprise CASUAL PEEN.
Casual peen is my fave of all movie peen. And in In The Cut Mark Ruffalo is all hair and just laying there post-coitally (is that a word?) and he has just casual at rest peen there slightly hiding in the darkness and I am HERE FOR IT. Sometimes film makers want to make a big deal of peen but they don’t make a big deal of tits so why? Why can’t we have casual peen in all movies?
So I was extremely content with this but then there was MORE. You have to get through some needlessly bloody scenes (there’s a sub-plot about a serial killer – not important – but you don’t see any violence just the aftermath).
And then there’s SLIGHT NIPPLE TOUCHING and I just thought this is Jane Campion right? This is a director who is a woman making a film that is actually hot for women. No wonder people hated it. And then Mark Ruffalo says he wants to watch Meg Ryan and she says – do you like to watch. And he says:
Yeah, I like it in the cut.
I don’t know why but this one line got me like nobody’s business. It was SO HOT. And I thought – gosh, I just really need to go back to those films with just slick, sexy lines like that and so now I’m returning to all the films that I didn’t like before but now I’m an old lady who is cockblocked constantly by my god damn children will almost definitely be into.
Maybe 2002-2003 was like a glorious time in cinema because Secretary also came out then. Another film that I hated when it came out but now love.
So now I’m on a trip down memory lane buzz but I just had to tell you about my good fortune with In The Cut. Please recommend other porny Netflix films for me.
Next on the viewing list – I will report back!
The Piano – Look if someone had told me this film was about sex in exchange for Piano lessons instead of what I thought it was about – Piano lessons – I’d have watched it when it came out in 1993
Gia – Angelina Jolie + lesbian love affair 1998
The Hunger – Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon vampire sex 1983
Little Children – Stay at home dad sex + Kate Winslet 2006
Original Sin – I remember this one sort of for the full on sex scenes and feeling extremely bisexual about both Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderes and I remember it being a garbage film around the sex scenes which is fine because that’s not our criteria here. 2001
Nine and 1/2 Weeks – Apparently very horny and young Micky Rourke could absolutely get it 1986
An Officer and a Gentleman – Richard Gere say no more 1982
White Palace – Another James Spader one + Forever Hottie Susan Sarandon. 1990
Wild Things – Neve Campbell forever. 1998
Posted on February 10, 2019
Hey so I made one resolution in 2019 that I’m going to try to only read women writers this year and I’ve actually been READING! Once I got into the habit of it, I got super into it. I used to just mooch on the couch watching shitflix but now I am reading and it’s great.
SO – you should join me! Here are some super great books I recommend you getting, all by amazing wāhine who really deserve your support! I’ve linked to buy them at Unity Wellington because Unity have been the most incredible support to me. They really are so awesome and supporting your local bookstore is another way to support your local girl gang (of writers and artists!)
But of course you can find all of these on Mighty Ape and Book Depository too! So if you’re overseas or they’re sold out – go there!
I basically think whatever you like you can get it at Unity and it’ll be by an awesome woman from NZ.
Do you want sexy dark stuff that you can’t put down?
Girl, I promise you will love TESS. It’s by Wellington babe Kirsten McDougall and I was obsessed. I didn’t know what was going to happen and I loved it. It’s a short read and a great way to get back into reading. Buy it here.
Do you want to start a riot?
Clem Ford’s Boys Will Be Boys: An Exploration of Power, Patriarchy & the Toxic Bonds of Mateship is grim as all fuck. I’m not going to lie. You’ll want to lie down in a dark cave for a month after reading it, but maybe, just maybe you’ll also feel like I did – and you’ll want to destroy the patriarchy and make life easier for our children. Clem is hilarious and warm and angry and I love it. I adore her and I really think everyone needs to read her book. It absolutely IS hard to read – it’s about the ways the patriarchy hurts boys and creates boys who hurt girls and gender minorities. But it’s important we learn and it’s important we commit to change. Buy it here.
Do you want to read something that makes you want to dance and be gay?
Get Poukahangatus by Tayi Tibble right now please. Just do it. I read this in one sitting. I’m obsessed. It’s poetry but not as you know it. It’s sex and heavy and light and dark and I don’t know I just read it like ten times and I want you to read it. Buy it here.
Do you wanna laugh at the absurdity of life with someone who you want to be best friends with?
Leah McFall is a national treasure and her book Karori Confidential is gorgeous. It’s made up of her Sunday columns which are always a joy to read. You can dip in and out and they just feel like having a pinot gris with someone you love. Buy it here.
If you want to get toeier than a roman sandal
In the country of my birth toey means horny but for some reason people insist it means angry. It doesn’t it means getting hot and bothered. Which you will if you read the NZ sexy times anthology Aotearotica. Now Unity sells #3 and #4 and they’re both fantastic. #4 has my favourite essay ever – I cried CRIED laughing reading it. I think it’s called Playing Cards Against Humanity With My Mum and one day I’m going to have an event and make Chris Tse read it because you all will LOVE IT. Buy it here.
Do you want to read something that will make you fall in love and sing and pash someone in a dark corner of Ivy Bar?
He’s so Masc is the BEST. Chris Tse is my heart so he gets to be on this list even though I said no women. Poetry might seem scary but it isn’t. I used to hate poetry but now I’m all about it. I realised in high school I just read shit poetry. Poetry is rad and this is my favourite collection ever. Buy it here.
Do you want to feel warm and fuzzy?
How We Met: The Ways Great Love Begins is a delight of a book. It’s like a big cuddle. It’s by one of New Zealand’s loveliest people Michele A’Court and you should definitely buy it. It’s a series of stories so you don’t have to read it all in one go, and it will honestly restore your faith in humanity. Buy it here.
Want to feel smart even though you’re not really?
You should definitely get Matter of Fact: Talking Truth in a Post-Truth World. Dr Jess is the writer I wish I could be and her stuff on talking about vaccination is perfect (I just need to take her advice!) Buy it here.
I have a huge crush on Hadassah Grace. I am so excited about her poetry book How To Take Off Your Clothes coming out soon. Follow her on Facebook or Insta for updates.
I want to read Tina Makereti’s The Imaginary Lives of James Poneke it has had rave reviews so I’m saving my pennies. I bought Where the Rekohu Bone Sings for all of my family.
I still want to get the Journal of Urgent Writing Vol.2 which features my favourite women Emma Espiner, Mamari Stephen, Jo Randerson, Sarah Laing and Dr Jess.
And on my bedside table I have We Could Make A Life by Chessie Henry and The Wish Child by Catherine Chidgey.
So there you go! Tell me what else I should be reading! x
Posted on January 2, 2019
Well, I have woken up with a summer cold and my husband has taken the kids out because he’s the best. So I thought I’d review some things. I am not doing a best of 2018 because I can barely remember what happened yesterday let alone last year.
So good. I can’t remember if I reviewed this or not but I really, really liked it.
It’s my fave Dr Seuss story so you know – I loved it. Kids watched it twice. Such a good Christmas movie.
Cannot believe Viggo Mortensen is not actually Italian.
I can barely make decisions in my own life and you want me to make decisions in someone else’s life? No thanks. But it did lead to some interesting conversations with my husband – he is quite sure robots will be taking over the world soon.
A+ arms on new crush Trevante Rhodes.
This potato salad I made when I was too lazy to make proper potato salad
It’s just pepper and sour cream and potatoes and pickles and I’m telling you it’s good. I don’t know if it qualifies as a salad or just a general life failure but I am into it.
The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell
I don’t know what this show is about but it’s extremely relaxing to watch. It’s like if lorazepam was a TV show for old tired goth soccer mums AKA me.
Very late to the party on this one but just started watching it and though I am a fan of Jamie Dornan I don’t know how anyone even notices him with the reason why every woman is gay Gillian Anderson. And this show is a commentary on toxic masculinity, entitlement, and male violence right? Yes?
God I hate myself for watching this garbage.
The Truth About The Harry Quebert Affair
Only lasted half an episode because male writers talking about writing is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Leave No Trace
This has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes which means everyone thinks it’s good but I thought it was boring. Remember that old website Rotten? We used to all sit around a computer when I was a teenager and look it up then force each other to look at the pictures. I wonder if it still exists. Too scared to look. Bleurgh.
I don’t know what’s happening but everyone is hot.
He can call me M’am any time he likes.
Fantastic. Loved it.
My sunburn because I forgot to put sunscreen on
Terrible. Minus 150 stars. Now have a post-it note by the door that says “remember sunscreen on your back”.
Posted on December 26, 2018
Sometimes there are acts of bravery, acts of great courage, that change the course of the world as we know it, or at least the course of a Boxing Day Wednesday.
We honour these people in many ways – maybe they win a Nobel Peace Prize or are named in the Queen’s Honours. We tell stories about them to future generations. We may take a moment, on a rainy day, to consider their contribution to humanity. They inspire us in all that we do.
Kym Barrett born 11 August 1965 is one such person. I would like to tell you why.
Posted on December 13, 2018
Tired of the shit emails and DMs and comments I’m getting so here I’ll answer your crap in one go.
Not all men are violent you’re being sexist
If I came to you crying and said – my husband broke my jaw – and you said to me “Well, not all husbands do that – I didn’t break my wife’s jaw” do you think that would be an appropriate thing to say? What makes you immediately disregard that a man hurt someone? Why can’t you express horror for violence without making it about yourself? Why can’t you say – That’s appalling, here let me help? Why is your immediate reaction to disregard what a woman has said? Don’t you think that’s messed up?
If women were killing men at the rate men are killing women all women would be on curfew by now. I would be marching in the street. So why won’t you stand with women?
You’re making men feel attacked
Well, boo fucking hoo. Women are literally being attacked – being raped, murdered, beaten. And you’re upset because a columnist expressed anger and sadness over it? Grow the fuck up. This isn’t about your feelings. I’m so sorry words make you feel uncomfortable – but I can assure you – being bashed in front of your kids or killed because you were out at night is worse than reading something on Facebook that makes you feel a wee bit unsure of yourself and your place in the world. Get over it.
What about violence against men
What about how you only bring up violence against men when you want to disregard violence against women? I’m horrified by violence against men. I have two boys. I desperately want them to be protected. Guess what Dave – That is why I am trying to do something about male violence! What the fuck are you doing? You only seem to care about these men when I talk about violence against women. Why don’t you make ending toxic masculinity a priority to protect these men instead of sitting on your ass angry wanking over women having opinions.
Women hurt men too
They do. And it’s abhorrent. And if every day women were murdering men and raping them – I’d be calling for an end to toxic femininity. If my boys grew up being told it’s not safe for them to speak to women or be out at night you can bet your ass I’d be devoting my life to it. That’s not happening. And women being violent toward men does not cancel out male violence no matter how much you want it to. If my son hit someone at school, and their parent said – “Your child made my daughter’s nose bleed” what would you think if I then said “yeah but sometimes girls hit boys in the playground”. All of this is a distraction – it’s an argument designed to minimise violence against women. Nobody has ever said women being violent toward men is acceptable. You are saying violence toward women is – by trying to say violence against men cancels it out.
They’re just psychopaths.
Oh really? All of them. New Zealand has the worst rate of family and intimate-partner violence in the world. Cops attend family violence incidents every four minutes. ALast year, police attended about 105,000 domestic violence incidents. If all incidents were reported, they would have attended at least 525,000 calls for help.
And you think they’re all just crazy? Well fuck me, I want to see an inquiry into what’s in our drinking water because if it’s not our culture – you know the culture that means every time a woman writes about violence she gets 100 emails calling her a cunt and a whore – then it must be something else. Do you really think it’s something else? Do you really think we have the highest rate of psychopaths in the entire world?
By calling these men monsters or psychopaths we are saying there’s nothing we can do. It’s washing the hands of it all. It’s saying oh well, we have no responsibility here – none of us. That is simply not true – and it’s a dangerous attitude. I’m tired of this violence, aren’t you? Don’t you want us to work together to stop it?
You’re politicising murder
It is political. Stop trying to silence women. Silence is complicity and I refuse to shut up because you don’t like the reality of violence in this country. And you know what else is political – you trying to stop people talking about it! You trying to tell people not to talk about a murder victim because it makes you feel uncomfortable as a man? That’s political. That’s you prioritising your feelings over the need for us to work toward a world where women aren’t dying every day at the hands of men.
It is only when women die that we are accused of being political. People can march in the street (and should) over child abuse statistics and nobody accuses them of taking advantage or using the names of these children for political gain. They rightly see it as saying “Enough! No more!” If you’re unmoved by another woman murdered, and you want people to be quiet about it, that’s messed up. Consider why you don’t want us shining a light on this violence.
You’re pushing an agenda
Yeah I am. My agenda is that I want to see an end to women dying and being bashed and being raped.
You have a victim complex
Actually bro, you do. If a woman is murdered and you think you’re the victim because some other woman is laying down truths you don’t like? You’re the one with the victim complex.
WhY Do yOU haTE MeN EmILy???????????????????????
If I hated you – I would be marching for segretation. I’d want revenge. All I want is for all genders to be safe against male violence and entitlement.
Your views are extreme
If it’s extreme to think that every one of us has a responsibility to do everything we can to protect women and children – then yeah, I’m extreme. The reality is that every woman I know who parents boys is parenting like me. They’re all trying to teach their boys to respect themselves, their bodies, other people, and other people’s bodies. If you think it’s extreme to teach your child “these hands don’t hurt” then you’re part of the problem. If you think Boys Will Be Boys and Boys Are The Bosses is a legitimate way to parent in 2018 then that to me is an extreme and messed up view. There is nothing extreme or wrong about parenting in a way that protects your children and other children.
Telling your son he can’t hug someone if they don’t want a hug won’t change anything.
Maybe it won’t. But what’s the harm? Changing a culture is hard. You need to start in your own backyard. You need to do something. For me, that’s teaching my son he doesn’t get to hug someone if they don’t want to be hugged. It’s teaching him that his body is his own and if he doesn’t want me to tickle him then I won’t. It’s that if he says NO that NO will be respected, so he then learns to respect NO. I don’t excuse his behaviour with boys will be boys. I teach him boys are kind, boys are loving, boys are gentle – because they are. I don’t teach him boys don’t cry or boys are rough – because that’s not true. We don’t call him a sissy or tell him he throws like a girl – we are careful about our language. We nurture his interests regardless of whether they are considered gendered. This might not do anything – but then again, it might. It might make him think twice when he hears messages that are sexist or hateful toward women and minorities. He might think – hold on, I know that isn’t true, I know that isn’t right. He might step in against a bully. He might protect his friends against someone being hurtful. If someone touches him and he says no – and they don’t stop – he will know to tell me. He will know that it’s not his fault. That he shouldn’t feel guilt. He will know that’s wrong. And he will never do that to someone else because he’s been taught over and over and over again that his body is his own and his friend’s body is their own. All of my friends are raising their kids this way. Because we all believe that it has to make a difference. I will never understand why people find this controversial – especially when they spend their entire lives putting rules around their daughters.
Your sons will hate you/Your sons will be brats/You are making your sons hate themselves
I refuse to be my child’s first bully. I will not give them the tools to hate the parts of themselves that are so precious to them and us – their gentleness, their affection for others, their kindness, their love of dancing, their love of glitter and flowers and tutus and their generosity. I will nurture and love them and protect them by ensuring gender stereotypes and norms and narrow views of masculinity don’t break them. My sons are free, I only wish the same for your children, for all children. I know you think going after my sons is what will break me, and it’s true – it’s the thing that hurts the most. But my husband and I are a team, and we are speaking out about these issues FOR our sons. It’s for them, they motivate us, their drive us to try to make the world a better place. You can’t hurt us here. We know our children and our children are loved.
Public grief is wrong
If your reaction to a young woman crying because she feels connected to another young woman – you’re a fucking loose unit. Hardening our hearts to everything is no way to live. Your cynicism is yours alone – don’t tell people how to feel. Unity and solidarity comes from grief. Change comes from grief. Snarking away at how people are upset just makes you an asshole.
What about all the women who aren’t getting media attention
They should be getting media attention. Women of colour and trans women suffer appalling rates of violence and every death should make the front page. Maybe then people would see just how widespread this problem is. I don’t know any women who disagree with this. But if you’re using this argument to stop people talking about violence against women, you need to consider why if it’s not to highlight racism and transphobia, and it’s instead to minimise the feelings women have about this case – you’re a dick.
I’m a cool chill girl and I just want to say I love you guys and you don’t have to do anything!
Internalised misogyny is a hell of a drug. We think if we suck up to men and throw our sisters under the bus we might be saved. They’ll like us. And we’ll be popular and cool. We’ll be one of the boys. If you’re raised in a society that makes you think women are bitches, of course you end up believing that. You don’t want to be a bitch like those other girls. So you slam them. And you kiss ass all day long making sure no man ever feels uncomfortable. We have all been there. I wasted many years of my life not realising women were my saviours in life. Now, I’m an adult – I know better. Nothing could make me want to prioritise men’s feelings now. Nothing could make me want to hurt my sisters or stand against them just so some limp dick knuckle dragging guy wants to fuck me. One day you’ll see.
YoU r A fEMinAzi?!?
I prefer the term boner-killer.
Jokes aside, consider who is watching you right now. Is your daughter? What are you teaching her when you come online and call me a cunt? What are you telling her about what her thoughts and ideas are worth in this world, to you? What are you teaching your son when you talk about feminazi sluts? What messages do you think he’s hearing about a woman’s worth? About her right to safety?
The kids are watching. What future are they going to have if you won’t change?
Posted on December 6, 2018
Hey – I’ve been busy writing and I don’t know, maybe if you like my writing you might want to catch up on what I’ve uhhhh been writing. So here you go my friends, I am writing for places other than the good ship Spinoff as well as The Spinoff. Please check out two sponsored posts I wrote – these help me continue to write, as they help pay my bills. This kind of explains it. I very, very rarely do sponsored posts as I only want them to be things that really benefit you. And I also don’t want you to feel like you’re being sold shit you don’t need or want. I hope I have the balance right. I turn down a lot but I genuinely think this wee project from Norton was worth doing. So here ya go. Writing only for publications starting with S is not intentional:
- I have been sponsored to fight cybercriminals who wear balaclavas even though they are at home and nobody can see them? – I talk about Norton VPN security stuff and keeping your nudes and credit card and stuff safe from CYBER CRIMS.
- Sponsored attempts at adulthood – This one is about setting up security on your phone and keeping your kids safe online.
- I wrote about speech and my son finding his voice. You can hear him in his dancing. See what others see when it’s love – love for your child’s different ways of taking on the world. See how they hum to concentrate – how clever they are! How smart their brains are to know this is what they need to be able to focus. See their communication when it’s not just limited to language. Open your mind to new ways of talking to each other.
- I wrote an essay about grief and how kindy helped my kids process theirs. It has been a really rough year for us. Here’s my post: A heart-shaped community. And home is two places now – where our children live and where they grow as well. Two little homes, somehow both ours. But one is shared with a whole community, a suburb, a village. And they sing songs while holding buttercups under the chins of babies so we can all remember that there’s so much joy.
- I also wrote about how you can get your children involved in politics which made someone email me and say Eddie would grow up to be a socialist and let me just say we will love him even if he doesn’t – Can toddlers and under fives really change the world? How often has your child said: “It’s not fair!” Children have an innate sense of fairness. They want us to live by what is just and true. Of course, there are times when they must realise that having to leave the park because it’s getting dark might not feel fair but it is. But then there are other times when their view of fairness is spot on.
- I had lots of fun writing this: Ikea store opens its doors to stray dogs; will NZ stores follow suit? It’s basically my best work. It follows other dog related content – I ranked the Dogs TV show, and wrote about the underground world of vegan dogs.
- I’ll be on the Stuff parenting podcast soon-ish. Will include a link. They have so far released the first episode.
- I was also interviewed about families in cafes which bought out the frothing child-haters.
- I wrote about conscientious objection and abortion law reform in New Zealand. Currently doctors have the right to just drop you if you ask for an abortion and they don’t support reproductive rights. That’s a horrendous thing for anyone to go through – but what if you’re a vulnerable young person seeking advice? What happens then? It’s BS and in my view the NZ medical association is terrible for supporting it. Why are doctors and their medical association fighting against reproductive rights?
- I did some little hot takes – one on how much I love Christmas music and one on how much I hate freakshakes.
- I wrote about my dearest friend Lina and her family. We are very close to them and I love little Elliot. Elliot has a brain tumour – one year on. She was beginning an experimental drug that targets the BRAF mutation in the genes in the tumour directly. A drug that is being paid for by everyone who pays tax. Socialised medicine was the knight in shining armour for the family. But the knight didn’t quite beat Elliot’s dragon.
I’ve also been on Newstalk and I’ll be on again on the 22nd of December. You can listen to the last episode I was on here – where we talked about being judged as parents.
I don’t know if you missed it but they published my session with the amazing Hollie McNish too. You can listen here: On motherhood: Hollie McNish and Emily Writes in conversation.
Posted on December 5, 2018
I have been sponsored to fight cybercriminals who wear balaclavas even though they are at home and nobody can see them?
So, a few weeks back I talked about how I’m adulting and I’m getting myself sorted with internet security.
I’ve been using Norton Secure VPN for a month or so now. The point of it is to secure your personal and financial information safe when using public Wi-Fi. Given the first thing I do wherever I go is to try log into the free WiFi – I’m a good candidate for this basically.
I never thought about WiFi security before now. I just have too many things running around in my head – you know how it is. I need to get a new car seat as Hamuel is growing out of the current one, I need to get the fuse on the stove fixed, I need to sew on buttons onto the pile of bloody clothes I have with broken buttons.