Well here I am

Hey – I’ve been busy writing and I don’t know, maybe if you like my writing you might want to catch up on what I’ve uhhhh been writing. So here you go my friends, I am writing for places other than the good ship Spinoff as well as The Spinoff. Please check out two sponsored posts I wrote – these help me continue to write, as they help pay my bills. This kind of explains it. I very, very rarely do sponsored posts as I only want them to be things that really benefit you. And I also don’t want you to feel like you’re being sold shit you don’t need or want. I hope I have the balance right. I turn down a lot but I genuinely think this wee project from Norton was worth doing. So here ya go. Writing only for publications starting with S is not intentional:

Sponsored content 


  • I wrote about speech and my son finding his voice. You can hear him in his dancingSee what others see when it’s love – love for your child’s different ways of taking on the world. See how they hum to concentrate – how clever they are! How smart their brains are to know this is what they need to be able to focus. See their communication when it’s not just limited to language. Open your mind to new ways of talking to each other.
  • I wrote an essay about grief and how kindy helped my kids process theirs. It has been a really rough year for us. Here’s my post: A heart-shaped community.  And home is two places now – where our children live and where they grow as well. Two little homes, somehow both ours. But one is shared with a whole community, a suburb, a village. And they sing songs while holding buttercups under the chins of babies so we can all remember that there’s so much joy.
  • I also wrote about how you can get your children involved in politics which made someone email me and say Eddie would grow up to be a socialist and let me just say we will love him even if he doesn’t – Can toddlers and under fives really change the world? How often has your child said: “It’s not fair!” Children have an innate sense of fairness. They want us to live by what is just and true. Of course, there are times when they must realise that having to leave the park because it’s getting dark might not feel fair but it is. But then there are other times when their view of fairness is spot on.


The Spinoff

  • I wrote about conscientious objection and abortion law reform in New Zealand. Currently doctors have the right to just drop you if you ask for an abortion and they don’t support reproductive rights. That’s a horrendous thing for anyone to go through – but what if you’re a vulnerable young person seeking advice? What happens then? It’s BS and in my view the NZ medical association is terrible for supporting it. Why are doctors and their medical association fighting against reproductive rights?
  • I did some little hot takes – one on how much I love Christmas music and one on how much I hate freakshakes.
  • I wrote about my dearest friend Lina and her family. We are very close to them and I love little Elliot. Elliot has a brain tumour – one year on. She was beginning an experimental drug that targets the BRAF mutation in the genes in the tumour directly. A drug that is being paid for by everyone who pays tax. Socialised medicine was the knight in shining armour for the family. But the knight didn’t quite beat Elliot’s dragon.

I’ve also been on Newstalk and I’ll be on again on the 22nd of December. You can listen to the last episode I was on here – where we talked about being judged as parents. 

I don’t know if you missed it but they published my session with the amazing Hollie McNish too. You can listen here: On motherhood: Hollie McNish and Emily Writes in conversation.


I have been sponsored to fight cybercriminals who wear balaclavas even though they are at home and nobody can see them?

So, a few weeks back I talked about how I’m adulting and I’m getting myself sorted with internet security.

I’ve been using Norton Secure VPN for a month or so now. The point of it is to secure your personal and financial information safe when using public Wi-Fi. Given the first thing I do wherever I go is to try log into the free WiFi – I’m a good candidate for this basically.

I never thought about WiFi security before now. I just have too many things running around in my head – you know how it is. I need to get a new car seat as Hamuel is growing out of the current one, I need to get the fuse on the stove fixed, I need to sew on buttons onto the pile of bloody clothes I have with broken buttons.

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The hustle

Nobody wants to talk about money. It’s horrible talking about money. But I feel like I should.

I’m 33 and my family and I live week to week. This is quite normal in our circle of friends. I gave up my day job earlier in the year thinking after two years at The Spinoff I finally had stable work. Then our great sponsor left The Spinoff Parents. So I lost my main income. I was lucky to pick up other contracting work but it’s been hard.

And then I see comments from people saying “She doesn’t need money – her books are everywhere and she’s at every festival”. I promise you – life looks very different here, in reality.

Here’s what you don’t see…

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Our children are not a burden

Today I cried down the phone as I was told my son had made it to the top of a wait list for early intervention support. I called my husband and loved hearing how happy he was – “How soon do we go?” he asked. I rang my son’s kindy’s head teacher, and my son’s key teacher – the kindy has been our biggest advocate in supporting our little one. I sobbed with happiness and they celebrated with me. The relief, the joy, it’s indescribable.

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Sponsored attempts at adulthood

Quite often, around 2am usually, I think to myself “I really need to grow up”.

At various points of my life I’ve basically thought – Am I an adult yet? I mean I’m 32. With two kids. So clearly, I am. Wait, I think I’m 33. Anyway…

I still often don’t feel like an adult because:

  • An adult would pre-order contact lenses and not just go to put contacts in and realise you haven’t got any despite wearing contacts for a decade or more.
  • An adult would be able to drive without having panic attacks when they sit in the front seat.
  • An adult would not run out of toilet paper.
  • An adult would have a will and insurance.
  • And an adult would know how to secure their internet and phone and make sure their kids don’t accidentally access porn or Trump rally videos.

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Manaaki Day

Hello – As some of you know, my son Eddie has been working on an idea since his last “Wish Day”. On Wish Day you helped him raise almost $8k for Wellington Children’s Hospital. At the beginning of the year he started planning Manaaki Day which will be on Friday November 16. Here’s Eddie’s letter for you read so you can decide if you and your workplace want to join Manaaki Day. Thanks to Wellington City Council, Mayor Justin Lester, Volunteer Wellington and Whānau Manaaki Kindergartens Association – any kindys who want to be involved will have pick ups of gifts and toys. But Eddie wants to be clear that there are lots of ways to get involved that don’t involve money. Here you go (and yes, I’m very proud of him and all kids):

Volunteer Wellington are going to be sending out an invitation to Kindergartens from Justin and Eddie for Eddie’s Manaaki Day. Children can donate gifts, books, toys, food, clothing (new items only) for a child or animal for Christmas.

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This post is about menstruation

So periods aye. Tampons. Pads. Menstrual cups.

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Rants in the Dark: The Play is NEXT WEEK!

Rants in the Dark The Play is NEXT WEEK OMG OMG
I have a double pass for you thanks to Circa Theatre and Good Times Company!
You can come on Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday night (Friday is almost sold out – Saturday is sold out!!!)
Just comment on my Facebook page with I don’t know your favourite 3am fantasy or the nickname you have for your child or a rant in the dark – whatever you like and please tag a friend and please buy a ticket here lol

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Jeremy Wade

Jeremy Wade has climbed onto the back of a tiger shark.

Jeremy Wade is not just fucking with this tiger shark. He would never do that. Jeremy Wade has a deep respect for sharks. For all underwater animals.

I imagine him sitting in a producer’s office. They break the news to him that is show will be called River Monsters.

He is torn. He knows this name will be good for ratings but he doesn’t view these beasts as monsters. He wants to humanise them.

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Why y’all need to discover the joy that is just getting your hair did at home

The other week I was just sitting there like what am I going to do with my damn hair. I love going to the salon but I can’t find the time. If I go out during the day I miss work hours and I have to catch up in order to be paid. And then that impacts on kindy pick up and being able to be at home with the kids.

So I just don’t get my hair cut enough. And I have short hair so I need to get it cut often.

And then there are my precious children – Hamigotchi is the worst. THE WORST. At getting his hair cut. We have had barbers refuse to even start doing his hair, others who have stopped half-way through and said no more and others who have just given up and given him a rat-ass shit haircut and then I’ve had to pay $30 for the pleasure.

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