This post is about menstruation

So periods aye. Tampons. Pads. Menstrual cups.

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Rants in the Dark: The Play is NEXT WEEK!

Rants in the Dark The Play is NEXT WEEK OMG OMG
 
I have a double pass for you thanks to Circa Theatre and Good Times Company!
 
You can come on Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday night (Friday is almost sold out – Saturday is sold out!!!)
 
Just comment on my Facebook page with I don’t know your favourite 3am fantasy or the nickname you have for your child or a rant in the dark – whatever you like and please tag a friend and please buy a ticket here lol
 
Also if you need babysitters WE HAVE THEM! The best babysitters ever The Babysitters Club have partnered with us so you can see the show! The Babysitters Club is proud to be supporting Rants in the Dark – the play at Circa Theatre and wish to support parents who want to enjoy a night out. For the duration of the season (25 to 29 September) any Sitters booked by parents attending the play will get their service fee waived. There will still be a cost for the actual Sitter, but The Babysitters Club will not be charging for their time to organise a suitable Sitter for your family.
 
You can choose to have a babysitter come to your home to babysit your family, or team up with friends and family to pool children at one house and get one (or more) sitters to look after a group of children. Ratio of 1 sitter to 5 children.
 
And that’s not all! My favourite shop ever Madame Fancy Pants is gonna have a stall. The beautiful and wonderful Clare is selling books by moi and also books by XTOTL who is my fave and also The Hello Cup because I am one of those people who is like HEY GET A MENSTRUAL CUP BECAUSE THEY’RE GREAT (and they’re designed and made in NZ). Support local mamas killing it!
 
Opening night is TUESDAY and I’m doing a Q&A on THURSDAY after the show so get ya tickets babes – it’s a besties night out without the kids we’re going to get buck wild Circa is not gonna know what has hit them!
 
Also let me tell you about the incredible mana wāhine who adapted Rants into the play you’re going to see. It made me tear up reading it – Mel is AMAZING. Look at what she has been through and she’s still giving and creating for mums:
 “Theatre makers and friends Lyndee-Jane Rutherford and Mel Dodge have been working to adapt Emily Writes’ hilarious and heart-felt book about parenting into a play over the past year. Mel and Lyndee-Jane’s previous collaborations include the solo show Miss Brontë, based on the story of writer Charlotte Brontë, which was performed at Circa in 2014. Mel and Lyndee-Jane subsequently toured Miss Brontë throughout Victoria and NSW (Australia), with Mel’s first child in tow. Earlier this year, during the writing phase of Rants in the Dark the play, Mel gave birth to her second child, Rafferty.
“Mel recently wrote these words about the parallels between the work and her own life: “When I was first approached about helping to adapt this play I had no idea about the parallels that I would experience with the material. It is 3am as I type and I am up with my four month old baby who, in three weeks’ time will be having surgery to repair his cleft lip and palate. Every time we go to the Sydney Children’s Hospital I hear Emily Writes’ words and am reminded that I am not alone. That many mothers have come before me. Every time I’m up at 3am wishing I was still in bed, I’m reminded of all the other mums who are wishing they were asleep. Every time I lose my patience or drown in parenthood, I hear Emily’s words… you got this. Although I wish I could be in New Zealand creating the preview season of this work, I know that my little one needs me right now.”
 
Mel’s son Rafferty has come through a successful first surgery to correct his cleft lip and palate, and is recovering well. Mel is Sydney based and in addition to raising her two boys she works as a Teaching Artist for Sydney Theatre Company and Bell Shakespeare.
 
Renee Lyons who is playing ME has eight month old twins!! She is rehearsing every single day and looking after EIGHT MONTH OLD TWINS. I mean.
 
Bronwyn Turei is performing every single night for Modern Girls in Bed while rehearsing all day for Rants in the Dark!
 
Emma Draper made my husband laugh so hard he sneezed and he is the most difficult to impress guy ever.
 
LJ and Bevin are #relationshipgoals and they’re the most inspiring team – bringing together this amazing play. They are the ones who have made this happen and I cannot ever thank them enough.
 
Wai and Ebony BOTH have little babies – Wai’s gorgeous girl Kora has been in a front-pack at every rehearsal (she is feeding her in that photo where I’m so happy my eyes have disappeared).
 
Honestly, you can feel the power of all of these amazing women. They are just beyond. I just know, I know, I know, that you will love this play. So much heart has gone into it and it’s fun and funny and it’s ALL FOR YOU!
 
Remember: By supporting this play you’re supporting dozens of mamas – the cast and crew and the local businesses supporting it are all incredible women following their dreams. Help make those dreams a reality – share, share, share, buy tickets, come along and have an awesome time! It’s easy <3
 

Jeremy Wade

Jeremy Wade has climbed onto the back of a tiger shark.

Jeremy Wade is not just fucking with this tiger shark. He would never do that. Jeremy Wade has a deep respect for sharks. For all underwater animals.

I imagine him sitting in a producer’s office. They break the news to him that is show will be called River Monsters.

He is torn. He knows this name will be good for ratings but he doesn’t view these beasts as monsters. He wants to humanise them.

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Why y’all need to discover the joy that is just getting your hair did at home

The other week I was just sitting there like what am I going to do with my damn hair. I love going to the salon but I can’t find the time. If I go out during the day I miss work hours and I have to catch up in order to be paid. And then that impacts on kindy pick up and being able to be at home with the kids.

So I just don’t get my hair cut enough. And I have short hair so I need to get it cut often.

And then there are my precious children – Hamigotchi is the worst. THE WORST. At getting his hair cut. We have had barbers refuse to even start doing his hair, others who have stopped half-way through and said no more and others who have just given up and given him a rat-ass shit haircut and then I’ve had to pay $30 for the pleasure.

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A definitive review of Skyscraper

No spoilers.

So I read the synopsis of Skyscraper and it began “Dwayne The Rock Johnson”  so I didn’t read any further because I didn’t have to. Because it’s Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I know it’s going to be a masterpiece. He cannot fail. He is built to succeed.

The opening scene of Skyscraper is pretty hardcore and I thought wow, this is going to be tough for me to get off to – but then, I saw Dwayne The Rock Johnson with:

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I will not let you hurt them

I wonder if it was when I was pregnant that my heart started moving. It left the safety of my rib cage and began its journey out of my body and into the world. It rested on my sleeve and I didn’t want it there.

I could feel its travel because as soon as a second beat began in my body I felt my eyes begin to water. My emotions are on the surface always now.

As my heart went to live outside my body I no longer felt protected. I cry easily and often now. My heart hurts from being battered by all the sadness in the world.

I feel bruised and I wonder if this is the constant state of motherhood. We enter into a new world when a little hope begins to grow inside our belly.

I spoke to a woman the other day, pregnant with her first baby, and she said “I’m sorry” as her eyes began to well up. “I cry at everything these days. I’m just so hormonal”.

And I thought – maybe, or maybe we are just conditioned to believe it’s wrong to show how we truly feel. The anger, the hurt, the raw ugly feelings….Why?

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I saw Hereditary

This doesn’t contain spoilers unless it’s a spoiler to say I almost shat my pants.

So. Here is my internal monologue (and some was external let’s be real here) while watching Hereditary – the sick as all Hell horror movie that everyone is talking about:

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A comprehensive review of Deadpool 2

So as you know (maybe) I’ve been sick so I meant to see this a fortnight ago but didn’t because I chose bed. So this is a very late review. But I figure nobody is making choices about what they watch based on my reviews. But if you are, god help you, here is my review for Deadpool 2. No spoilers.

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“What is your real name” and all of your other questions somewhat answered

I get many, many emails. And y’all are not shy about asking me some personal as questions. So I’ve been saving them up for a blog post. Here they are. Enjoy (or don’t – it’s a free world apparently).

Is Ham sleeping now?

He is not. I am the saddest in the world. He slept for three days then stopped for no reason at all and is back to waking a million times a night.

EDIT: I started this post ages ago and just chuck in questions whenever I get them by DM or email. Anyway NOW as of 29th of May – Hammy Davis Jnr IS sleeping mostly all night in his own bed mostly 80% of the time. It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen! Almost like sleep is a developmental milestone heeeey!

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Dispatches from a beautiful hotel that I managed to flood and no that’s not a euphemism

I’ll start by saying I slept in both rooms. I had a nap in one bed. And then slept in another. Like some kind of outrageous rich person who just willy nilly expects everyone to clean up after her. And maybe that was my mistake. Maybe that’s why the universe demanded payback. The beautiful rural hotel had a bath so I was in there before my friend could even race from the room muttering about boundaries. I don’t have a bath and it’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life. I’m very easy to please.

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