Sponsored attempts at adulthood

Quite often, around 2am usually, I think to myself “I really need to grow up”.

At various points of my life I’ve basically thought – Am I an adult yet? I mean I’m 32. With two kids. So clearly, I am. Wait, I think I’m 33. Anyway…

I still often don’t feel like an adult because:

  • An adult would pre-order contact lenses and not just go to put contacts in and realise you haven’t got any despite wearing contacts for a decade or more.
  • An adult would be able to drive without having panic attacks when they sit in the front seat.
  • An adult would not run out of toilet paper.
  • An adult would have a will and insurance.
  • And an adult would know how to secure their internet and phone and make sure their kids don’t accidentally access porn or Trump rally videos.

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Manaaki Day

Hello – As some of you know, my son Eddie has been working on an idea since his last “Wish Day”. On Wish Day you helped him raise almost $8k for Wellington Children’s Hospital. At the beginning of the year he started planning Manaaki Day which will be on Friday November 16. Here’s Eddie’s letter for you read so you can decide if you and your workplace want to join Manaaki Day. Thanks to Wellington City Council, Mayor Justin Lester, Volunteer Wellington and Whānau Manaaki Kindergartens Association – any kindys who want to be involved will have pick ups of gifts and toys. But Eddie wants to be clear that there are lots of ways to get involved that don’t involve money. Here you go (and yes, I’m very proud of him and all kids):

Volunteer Wellington are going to be sending out an invitation to Kindergartens from Justin and Eddie for Eddie’s Manaaki Day. Children can donate gifts, books, toys, food, clothing (new items only) for a child or animal for Christmas.

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This post is about menstruation

So periods aye. Tampons. Pads. Menstrual cups.

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Rants in the Dark: The Play is NEXT WEEK!

Rants in the Dark The Play is NEXT WEEK OMG OMG
 
I have a double pass for you thanks to Circa Theatre and Good Times Company!
 
You can come on Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday night (Friday is almost sold out – Saturday is sold out!!!)
 
Just comment on my Facebook page with I don’t know your favourite 3am fantasy or the nickname you have for your child or a rant in the dark – whatever you like and please tag a friend and please buy a ticket here lol

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Jeremy Wade

Jeremy Wade has climbed onto the back of a tiger shark.

Jeremy Wade is not just fucking with this tiger shark. He would never do that. Jeremy Wade has a deep respect for sharks. For all underwater animals.

I imagine him sitting in a producer’s office. They break the news to him that is show will be called River Monsters.

He is torn. He knows this name will be good for ratings but he doesn’t view these beasts as monsters. He wants to humanise them.

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Why y’all need to discover the joy that is just getting your hair did at home

The other week I was just sitting there like what am I going to do with my damn hair. I love going to the salon but I can’t find the time. If I go out during the day I miss work hours and I have to catch up in order to be paid. And then that impacts on kindy pick up and being able to be at home with the kids.

So I just don’t get my hair cut enough. And I have short hair so I need to get it cut often.

And then there are my precious children – Hamigotchi is the worst. THE WORST. At getting his hair cut. We have had barbers refuse to even start doing his hair, others who have stopped half-way through and said no more and others who have just given up and given him a rat-ass shit haircut and then I’ve had to pay $30 for the pleasure.

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A definitive review of Skyscraper

No spoilers.

So I read the synopsis of Skyscraper and it began “Dwayne The Rock Johnson”  so I didn’t read any further because I didn’t have to. Because it’s Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I know it’s going to be a masterpiece. He cannot fail. He is built to succeed.

The opening scene of Skyscraper is pretty hardcore and I thought wow, this is going to be tough for me to get off to – but then, I saw Dwayne The Rock Johnson with:

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I will not let you hurt them

I wonder if it was when I was pregnant that my heart started moving. It left the safety of my rib cage and began its journey out of my body and into the world. It rested on my sleeve and I didn’t want it there.

I could feel its travel because as soon as a second beat began in my body I felt my eyes begin to water. My emotions are on the surface always now.

As my heart went to live outside my body I no longer felt protected. I cry easily and often now. My heart hurts from being battered by all the sadness in the world.

I feel bruised and I wonder if this is the constant state of motherhood. We enter into a new world when a little hope begins to grow inside our belly.

I spoke to a woman the other day, pregnant with her first baby, and she said “I’m sorry” as her eyes began to well up. “I cry at everything these days. I’m just so hormonal”.

And I thought – maybe, or maybe we are just conditioned to believe it’s wrong to show how we truly feel. The anger, the hurt, the raw ugly feelings….Why?

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I saw Hereditary

This doesn’t contain spoilers unless it’s a spoiler to say I almost shat my pants.

So. Here is my internal monologue (and some was external let’s be real here) while watching Hereditary – the sick as all Hell horror movie that everyone is talking about:

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A comprehensive review of Deadpool 2

So as you know (maybe) I’ve been sick so I meant to see this a fortnight ago but didn’t because I chose bed. So this is a very late review. But I figure nobody is making choices about what they watch based on my reviews. But if you are, god help you, here is my review for Deadpool 2. No spoilers.

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