Posted on September 20, 2018
Posted on September 1, 2018
Jeremy Wade has climbed onto the back of a tiger shark.
Jeremy Wade is not just fucking with this tiger shark. He would never do that. Jeremy Wade has a deep respect for sharks. For all underwater animals.
I imagine him sitting in a producer’s office. They break the news to him that is show will be called River Monsters.
He is torn. He knows this name will be good for ratings but he doesn’t view these beasts as monsters. He wants to humanise them.
Posted on July 18, 2018
So I read the synopsis of Skyscraper and it began “Dwayne The Rock Johnson” so I didn’t read any further because I didn’t have to. Because it’s Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I know it’s going to be a masterpiece. He cannot fail. He is built to succeed.
The opening scene of Skyscraper is pretty hardcore and I thought wow, this is going to be tough for me to get off to – but then, I saw Dwayne The Rock Johnson with:
Posted on June 12, 2018
This doesn’t contain spoilers unless it’s a spoiler to say I almost shat my pants.
So. Here is my internal monologue (and some was external let’s be real here) while watching Hereditary – the sick as all Hell horror movie that everyone is talking about:
Posted on June 2, 2018
So as you know (maybe) I’ve been sick so I meant to see this a fortnight ago but didn’t because I chose bed. So this is a very late review. But I figure nobody is making choices about what they watch based on my reviews. But if you are, god help you, here is my review for Deadpool 2. No spoilers.
Posted on May 29, 2018
I get many, many emails. And y’all are not shy about asking me some personal as questions. So I’ve been saving them up for a blog post. Here they are. Enjoy (or don’t – it’s a free world apparently).
Is Ham sleeping now?
He is not. I am the saddest in the world. He slept for three days then stopped for no reason at all and is back to waking a million times a night.
EDIT: I started this post ages ago and just chuck in questions whenever I get them by DM or email. Anyway NOW as of 29th of May – Hammy Davis Jnr IS sleeping mostly all night in his own bed mostly 80% of the time. It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen! Almost like sleep is a developmental milestone heeeey!
Posted on May 21, 2018
I’ll start by saying I slept in both rooms. I had a nap in one bed. And then slept in another. Like some kind of outrageous rich person who just willy nilly expects everyone to clean up after her. And maybe that was my mistake. Maybe that’s why the universe demanded payback. The beautiful rural hotel had a bath so I was in there before my friend could even race from the room muttering about boundaries. I don’t have a bath and it’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life. I’m very easy to please.
Posted on May 10, 2018
So, as I said on my Facebook page – I saw Tully the other night and I’ve had a lot of feelings about it. I found it really difficult to watch and as such it’s really difficult to review. Reviews for me are usually fairly easy to do – I don’t think film reviewing is a particularly important thing at all. It’s a fairly pointless thing to do in my view – which is why I like doing it. It’s not important writing and I don’t need to think too hard. It’s a turn off my brain hobby for me – just a bit of fun – other people take my film reviews far more seriously than I ever take them.
And then a movie comes along like Tully and it’s hard to work out what to say about it – I don’t review all of the movies I see, I’m not paid to do this, so I could just ignore it. But I want to talk about it, as much as I’m not sure how I feel about it.
I guess I’ll just jump right in and say – the marketing sucks and they should feel bad. In my view Tully is totally marketed as a feel good movies for new mums. A you’ll totally relate to this film. I mean – I could absolutely relate to that trailer. Who hasn’t dropped a phone on their kid’s head? And it’s clearly suggested that the film is full of these “isn’t this just so us?” comic moments.
Except this movie is not a feel-good movie about real parenting. This movie is a grim and heartbreaking work that is really important. And what frustrates me is that it could have stood on its own merits instead of pulling a bait and switch with vulnerable mothers. The irony of a movie about a vulnerable mother being marketed in such a way that it surprises new parents with horror is just beyond really.
You might think it’s a realistic Bad Moms. But it’s more like The Babadook (an amazing film – that is also very heavy). But The Babadook was not framed as a rom com dramedy as it is in fact a psychological horror film.
So does that mean I hated it? No. I found it devastatingly accurate. Painfully real. Especially as a mum who has suffered from PND and anxiety – and recently *deep breath* a really bad mental health break.
I don’t want to go into details, but earlier this year I had a breakdown and ended up in hospital. I can’t describe how much it hurt. I went offline for two weeks, took as much leave from my jobs as I could, and my sister came over from Australia to help care for me. It was agony – not being able to trust yourself with yourself is a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I almost lost everything and not a day goes by that I don’t think about it.
So to go out to a film for a bit of a night off (as many mums seeing it are expecting based on the trailer) and instead have well…what the film actually is was rough as guts.
And this is the shitty part – I have to say “Spoilers ahead” to talk about it. And that kind of sucks. Here is this thing we need to talk about, that has been turned into a spoiler. I’m not sure how I feel about that. We need to talk about Tully – but we’re gagged because to do so “ruins” the movie. That’s not right is it?
I fear for the mums who leave the cinema and sit in their car and feel numb. My bestie and I had tried to go to a comedy show after but instead of laughing we mostly just sat close to each other, hands almost touching, waiting for that sinking feeling to dissipate. The morning after I sobbed in my husband’s arms. In saying that – it’s a good film, whatever that means. It’s raw and real and we need it. It’s visceral (I swear I had boob pangs during it like I almost started fucking lactating again).
And I don’t agree with a lot of the criticism around it.
And if you had an easy ride with parenting – you’ll probably be fine. It’ll probably just be a buzzkill for you. But if you’ve struggled – it’s a lot.
If you’re booked to see it (as I know many mums are): I think it’s an amazing movie and I felt incredibly seen, but I want you to be prepared for how hard it is to watch if you’ve had a rough time with your mental health. Go with a friend, take some time afterward to talk through your feelings. Don’t go alone. x
So I don’t know spoilers ahead …..sigh. If you don’t want it to be “spoiled” STOP HERE.
Posted on May 1, 2018
So what if you were at the supermarket and you’re a solo mum because if you had a partner you don’t now and the kids are screaming and you’re trying to hold one of them on your hip while also carrying five bags and feeling guilty that you keep forgetting your canvas bag and then Mark Ruffalo comes over and says can I help you and he bends down to grab one of your bags but you bend down at the same time and then you knock heads and he just gently touches your forehead and says are you ok and you’re like I’m fine but you’re dizzy because his eyes are so kind and he says let me help you and he picks up your baby and the baby immediately likes him and he holds hands with your other child who has stopped screaming and then he grabs the bags and walks to your car and he says I’m Mark Ruffalo and he tries to shake your hand but he can’t because it’s full of bags and he blushes and laughs and then you laugh and he says this is crazy but can I make you dinner tonight and you’re like oh well yes but I can’t because my baby has to stay in his routine I can’t take him out and he says I’ll bring you dinner and you just agree and two hours later you’re wondering if you should put make up on and he just appears at your door holding peonies and hiding behind him is a little girl the same age as your son and he says this is my daughter my wife died in a terrible basement flooding accident and his daughter shyly shakes your hand and then he holds up a perfectly made macaroni cheese and you invite him in and you and your kids and Mark Ruffalo and his adorable polite child all eat together on the floor on a mat so the kids don’t smear cheese everywhere and then the kids say can we have a sleepover and you both laugh and say I think they like each other and then he looks at you a shrugs and says sleepover? And you’re like this is crazy I just met you at Pak n Save but then the kids fall asleep on the couch and you say I have some wine and you go out onto the deck and toast the stars with your cleanskin Pinot Gris and he says can I kiss you and you do and then you finish him like cheesecake and then the next morning the kids sleep in until 10am and you wake up to him making them pancakes and singing and he says I have to tell you something I have this flatmate called Steve Rogers and have you heard of polyamory and I think you’d really like him and we only believe in one sided polyamory where it’s just you and us and you’re just like yes thanks that sounds great I am keen as and have no plans tonight please lock it in. What if that happened.