I have been sponsored to fight cybercriminals who wear balaclavas even though they are at home and nobody can see them?

So, a few weeks back I talked about how I’m adulting and I’m getting myself sorted with internet security.

I’ve been using Norton Secure VPN for a month or so now. The point of it is to secure your personal and financial information safe when using public Wi-Fi. Given the first thing I do wherever I go is to try log into the free WiFi – I’m a good candidate for this basically.

I never thought about WiFi security before now. I just have too many things running around in my head – you know how it is. I need to get a new car seat as Hamuel is growing out of the current one, I need to get the fuse on the stove fixed, I need to sew on buttons onto the pile of bloody clothes I have with broken buttons.

Making sure whatever I send and get on my phone and laptop when I’m out and about working isn’t exactly a priority. But I think I didn’t see it as a priority because I thought it would be a heap of work.

Well, I’m pleased to say it isn’t. Basically, Norton Secure VPN encrypts the data you send and receive when using public Wi-Fi. God knows how they do it. Don’t ask me, I have no idea. That is secret wizard computer business and it seems boring anyway.

I will just say that Norton has created a Virtual Private Network (VPN) so I can use free public Wi-Fi and when I do, nobody can somehow hack into my laptop and log into my Facebook and post on my page that vaccines cause autism or some shit.

Or post my nudes onto my Instagram.

Or look at my group chat and see what a judgey bitch I am.

My credit card won’t be stolen now which is good because my credit card is non-existent because I keep emailing my bank and saying, “can you freeze my card” then emailing them the next day and saying “sorry can you unfreeze it actually because life without a credit card is impossible”.

The new server for the Norton Secure VPN is in Auckland. The benefit to that is there isn’t a noticeable lag with surfing the web via a VPN – which I think can be a problem with other VPN type things.


I just know that me, a person who doesn’t know how to do anything and still has a blog that is on a free WordPress, managed to install the VPN all by myself by clicking the thing and then the other thing.

I have been learning about cybercriminals (who I imagine look like the burglar in that Mog book). Cybercriminals can get your stuff through public networks. Like CBD Free Wellington or McDonalds or whatever. A heist of 600 photos of your baby eating noodles for the first time I suppose. CYBERCRIMINALS must be stopped. I like to imagine a VPN is like a big net and the net catches them. Or maybe like having a VPN is like that safe feeling you get when you look at pictures of Mark Ruffalo’s wholesome Instagram.

Basically, with the VPN thing I can pay my endless amount of bills, and log into my email and bitch in my group chat – in a café, airport or hotel – and not worry that a cybercriminal is going to look through my virtual underwear drawer.

As Norton says themselves, with Norton Secure VPN, public WiFi is just as safe as being at home. So, you can look at stuff that’s so filthy you’re like wow, I did not know I liked that and not even feel guilty about it. What a great gift for Christmas. The gift of Christmas peen that is cybercriminal free.

Click the thing to install the thing. https://nz.norton.com/wifi-privacy

Thanks Norton for sponsoring this post and helping me try to be an adult.

Here is a photo of me fighting CYBER crimes.