Choose your own adventure as a one term government

Could you make it as a minister in a one-term-government? Here's your chance to choose your own adventure as a leader (or minister) in coaltion of cruelty comprising of the National Party, ACT Party and New Zealand First. 

Next month, you'll have been in power for two years. What have you achieved? What will you achieve. Will you choose austerity? Or Austerity? Will you choose the path of least resistance while making your mates rich and pleasing the lobby groups that smoothed your path to power? Of course you will!

Let's play.

You are Christopher Luxon, prime minister of Aotearoa, under your watch, the unemployment rate has risen to its highest level since 2020 when there was a global pandemic.  The unemployment rate has risen to 5.2 percent in the three months ended June, from 5.1 percent in the previous quarter. Under your government, the economy has shed about 2000 jobs during the quarter and 16,000 jobs over the past 12 months. There are now 50,000 fewer jobs than in December 2023. How do you respond?

Do you A) Appoint a politician with an English literature degree to run the economy.
B) Blame Labour despite the fact that the lowest unemployment rate in recent years was when Labour was in power.
C) Remove support for 4300 teenagers who can't find work and call it 'tough love'.

Or D) All of the above.

You are Foreign Minister Winston Peters. You have been in power during a genocide that has killed at least one Palestinian child every hour on average by Israeli forces in Gaza over nearly 23 months of war, with the number of children killed now surpassing 20,000, according to Save the Children. The death toll of civilians killed directly by occupation forces has been estimated to be more than 200,000 people. This does not include deaths by man-made famine. How do you respond?

Do you A) start a war against trans people to try to distract the country from your ineptitude and insist the biggest issue facing our country is how you define woman, while you try to stop 20-year-old trans women playing football with their mates.

Or B) Remove the Proud Boys who are active in Aotearoa from the terrorist list and add Hamas who are not active in Aotearoa as a symbolic act to appease an occupying force. Do this while refusing to sanction Israel, refusing to recognise Palestinian statehood going against 145 nations now joining the call for international recognition and refusing to expel the ambassador of Israel.

Or D) Ignore New Zealanders calling for an end to the genocide and put through a bill aimed at removing their ability to protest in a way that causes you discomfort.

Or do you do all of the above earning you congratulations and praise from the genocidal occupiers who you claim you're not supporting.

You are Justice minister Paul Goldsmith. In the year ended 2024, 4175 prisoners were awaiting trial or sentencing, more than 200 prisoners than the year prior. The Chief Justice's report stated the justice system is under “considerable stress” with too few judges and, in some areas, not enough courtrooms. The report also states constraints on the legal aid system are causing lawyers to pull out of the programme, leading to “serious concern” among judges. Also, a new survey by the Ministry of Justice revealed victims of crime have less trust in the justice system than other New Zealanders.

Do you A) begin pushing through laws that will bar up to 55,000 votes in the election. You are doing this against the advice of the Electoral Commission, who have said the law would reduce turnout, putting people off showing up to the ballot box at all. Then lie and say the bill is just about saving time, even though the electoral commission have said that it will not speed up the vote count and not about restricting typically left-leaning votes being counted. Then lie again and say New Zealanders are slowest to reach a vote count even though Australia is roughly the same as us. Then Consider banning people from voting outside of their electorate, closing off the overseas vote earlier, and shortening the early voting timeframe to just eight days in a further attack on democracy.

Or B) Try to get the country riled up about tikanga Māori in court rulings.

C) All of the above.

You are Health Minister Simeon Brown. Under your watch, nearly 100,000 workers are set to take part in a monster strike which would be the largest strike in Aotearoa in decades.

Do you A) offer critical health workers a 2% pay rise, followed by a 1.5% increase over 30 months which is well below inflation and is essentially a paycut.

B) Accuse Labour of economic vandalism for saying they'll ban oil and gas drilling.

C) All of the above.

You are Deputy Prime Minister of Aotearoa, David Seymour. In the year ended June 2025, almost 72,000 New Zealanders moved overseas, while just 25,400 moved home - a net loss of 46,500 New Zealanders. More than 60% of those who emigrate went to Australia, the highest number in more than a decade. Due to thousands of job cuts you ordered in the capital, its estimated 200 business have closed in Wellington alone. GDP fell 0.9 per cent in the June 2025 quarter, meaning your country is heading into a recession. Food prices have increased every month for the past 14 months. The number of children living in poor households will barely shift in the coming years, new Treasury forecasts show. Over half a million New Zealanders are accessing food banks ever month. Consumer NZ estimated 140,000 households had to take out a loan to pay their power bill, and a further 38,000 households had their power cut at least once as they couldn’t pay their bill. A UNICEF report revealed that New Zealand had the worst youth suicide rate of the 36 countries in the OECD.

Do you A) spend half a day trying to get Parliament to talk about the death of a far-right podcaster from the United States. B) overhaul playground safety regulations based on the letter of one parent, C) put out a statement saying a change to tikanga courses by the University of Auckland for first-year undergraduates is a “massive victory for people”.

D) All of the above.

Congratulations. You've completed your first two years in government.

Your country's people are more miserable, hungrier, more unequal, and more divided than ever. But your donors are happy, the lobbyists are well-fed, and you’ve still got a job (you even gave yourself a pay-rise).

We are two years in, and you have choices. It may not feel like it, but we are the ones who have to choose what direction our country continues to move in.