FNC - Divorce anthems!
Kia ora! Welcome to Friday Night Chats! It's so lovely to be with you again. We got through the week. And it's Halloween! So if you're lucky, you'll see some cute little ghouls and ghosts running around your 'hood! Let's chat!
Honestly, how good is a short week? I really wish we could just have four-day work weeks. I think we should have one-day work weeks tbh lol. I am having many fantasies about winning the lotto and not having to work right now.
It feels like it's getting to that time of year when you're just exhausted and dreaming about lying on a beach. But instead, there's just so much work to do.
Still, I am packing my weekends. Next week I'm going to Coven, which is always a good time. And the following weekend is ✨Haute Take Presents: Everyone Got Made Redundant But Fk It - We’re Dancing! ✨.
I went to Cuba St Tavern for the first time on the weekend and it is SUCH a cool place. So I'm thinking about doing something there at some point.
My friend and I also went to two/fiftyseven to sus out having some cool events there next year. It's such a rad place. I really love it.
In other news: I had no idea Dr Siouxsie was in debt from your court case. I have donated to her and if you'd like to you can do the same here.
Things I'm working on...
I've been working with my friend Cat, a nurse, to share info about community health and how we can look after each other. You can follow Nurse Cat here.
I've also been trying to get my head around the new curriculum - 44 maths experts warned the newly rewritten curriculum seemed “more political than educational”, “unfair to teachers” and “potentially damaging to learners”.
I've commissioned a few pieces that may or may not come into fruition. One is about how AI 'feel-good' social media posts are actually just data collection...
Along with other women, a letter template to Andrew Little around his praise of Ray Chung and his promotion of Chung, and the old boys club he's got going at WCC etc. You can see and send the letter here.
I'm also working on a piece about what we as ordinary New Zealanders can do about Sudan, and I'm hoping to provide a template for us to use to lobby for a ceasefire and humanitarian visas.
I am also very upset about the 'autistic school' as the parent of an autistic child who struggles to be in school. I have so many thoughts about it, but I want to work out a way to talk about it without highlighting my son's struggles because he deserves privacy.
So it's a busy time! I'm also going away for a week at the beginning of December, and I'm considering taking annual leave, which I don't really think I've ever done. I worry too much about people unsubscribing. But I really need a break.
So that's that!
What I'm reading:
I love Laura Vincent! So, I'm very excited to pick up her brand new novel Hoods Landing.
In the rural reaches of Auckland, the women of the eclectic Gordon family gather for Christmas. They may push each other’s buttons, but know precisely when to offer tea (or a tipple). Rita, the 50-year-old baby of the family, is planning to tell them she has cancer. Drifting between past and present, she considers the lives of women in their community and reckons with what it all means for her future and her family.
Featuring elderly lesbians, twins who aren’t twins, and several dogs named Roger, Hoods Landing is about shoddy pasts, ambiguous futures and the imperfect bonds that tie family together.
I have become obsessed with Haymarket Books for e-books. They have the most incredible collection of e-books. So many are just $2.
They also have an e-book subscription, which is really good value for money, and they do specials every month like: Ten Free Ebooks for Getting Free.
I'm currently reading Assata Taught Me: State Violence, Racial Capitalism, and the Movement for Black Lives by Donna Murch
Other things I'm reading:
Man’s pig kidney fails just shy of setting record
Four Hours in the Dark, Forgetting - "It is not enough to say that it saved my life. Surgery changed my life. Altered its entire course, and I knew it; I woke up different — anew. Someone who could wear white, soft t-shirts in direct sunlight, swim at the beach, and leave the house on the first try."
Inside the Slick, Sexy World of Lesbian Oil Wrestling Where WWE Meets Softcore Smut
Experts issue dire warning about uncontacted tribes around the world after new threat - influencers.
The new curriculum doesn't follow the science of learning
The Disaster Correspondent - Why I stopped explaining the Middle East to Americans
What I'm watching:
This week I went to a Union Aid Fundraiser screening Pike River. It's a beautiful film and just absolutely heart-wrenching. I absolutely sobbed through it so make sure you take tissues. But it wasn't just devastating - it was actually inspiring too somehow. Which I know sounds strange, but it showed how people can create real change and how much stronger people are when they're together.
It was a really beautiful portrait of grief and friendship.
After the show, Anna Osborne and Sonya Rockhouse came out and were interviewed. They're such incredible women. I was so blown away by them, they're just astounding. I really felt the spirit of Helen Kelly in the room.
Companion reading: Pike River movie asks: Are we okay with what happened after?
So, now I'm going to watch Tony Sutorius' documentaries again: Together about Helen Kelly and I'm trying to find a copy of Campaign. I watched Elements of Truth about Jami-Lee Ross at The Embassy when it came out, and it was fascinating. You can watch it here:
Companion reading: Tony Sutorius on politicians, documentary and ‘telling the truth about being dishonest’
What I'm listening to:
My big recommendation for the week is the podcast: When We All Get To Heaven. It is beautiful, and I feel like it's exactly what we need in these difficult times.
I am embarrassed to say I am listening to Lily Allen's new album. She's kind of the Taylor Swift for tragic millennials who think they're above Taylor Swift (me). She actually really sucks* but I am sorry I love a divorce album. I love a bad man being humiliated.
*Dressed up as Dr Luke (Kesha's rapist) for Halloween, banged that guy from Oasis, which is bad enough on its own, but he was married too, got a rescue puppy on a whim and couldn't handle it, so returned it, which in itself isn't bad because at least she returned the puppy. Still, she didn't talk about how THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GET A DOG ON A WHIM (I know I did this, but I'm different), wrote some salacious stuff about kissing Zoë Kravitz, who said it didn't go down that way at all..
So you're allowed to insult me for listening to her album - I know I'm part of the problem lol but anyway.
Top 5 divorce albums
- Album: The Chicks | Gaslighter.
Why? It's absolutely what a divorce album should be: Furious, but you can totally dance to it with your girls.
Man we are destroying: Natalie Maines' ex-husband, Adrian Pasdar
Best lyric:
'Cause, boy, you know exactly what you did on my boat
And, boy, that's exactly why you ain't comin' home - Album: Lemonade | Beyonce
Why? There are very legitimate criticisms of billionaire Beyonce, but Lemonade is a work of art. It's actually perfect. I genuinely believe it's one of the best albums of all time. The divorce arc of betrayal, feeling like your life is falling apart, revenge, happiness is all there - she unfortunately didn't leave Jay Z. But in my head she did. So they're divorced to me. And that's what matters.
Man we are destroying: Jay-Z
Best lyric:
It's hard to pick just one but:
"In the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3 a.m. and lie to me" always breaks my heart.
And:
"She murdered everybody and I was her witness," just makes me happy because I support women's rights and women's wrongs.
Oh and also: "WHO THE FK DO YOU THINK I IS?" is very iconic. - Album: Rumours | Fleetwood Mac
Why: But only the songs that Stevie Nicks wrote about Lindsey lol. Genuinely is there a greater divorce album? Probably not. Rumours is only at number 3 because it includes songs by Lindsey, and I don't want to hear men singing to the women they betrayed. Even if Stevie betrayed Lindsey, I don't care. I am on her side.
Man we are destroying: Lindsey Buckingham.
Best lyric:
I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you,
give me just a chance
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you,
WAS I JUST A FOOOOOL???? - Album: Made of Bricks | Kate Nash
Why? Look, Foundations is literally the best song ever about being in a relationship that you know isn't great because you've slowly started hating the man you're with (divorce songs are only about men because women mostly stay friends when they break up). Merry Happy is such a great empowerment song about being happy 'alone' - "I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own" is such a great line, and the repetition ensures you KNOW it, you know?
Man we are destroying: Every mediocre man?
Best lyric:
You said I must eat so many lemons
'Cause I am so bitter
I said "I'd rather be with your friends, mate
'Cause they are much fitter - Album: Lungs | Florence and the Machine
Why? If there is a patron saint of divorce, it's either Florence Welch or Kelly Clarkson. I chose Lungs mostly because I think it does that rare thing: show how full of love your life can be after divorce, when you're free of a man who is dragging you down. Dogs Days Are Over and You've Got The Love remind you that all you need in life is your girls, your gays, and your theys.
Man we are destroying: Probably literary editor Stuart Hammond.
Best lyric:
Time after time, I think, "Oh, Lord, what's the use?"
Time after time, I think it's just no good
Sooner or later in life, the things you love, you lose
But you've got the love I need to see me through - OK I have to do a 6th one because I told my friends and they got angry and said I have to include Adele so I'm saying every Adele album.
Why? I mean, you know Adele.
Man we are destroying: Every man who has ever broken a woman's heart.
Best lyric:
NEVER MIND I'LL FIIIIIIND SOMEONE LIKE YOOOOOOOOOU I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOOOOOOOOUUUU TOOOOOOOO.
Obviously, the best live performance of a divorce song is Stevie burning a hole through Lindsey's skull while singing Silver Spring.
Iconic divorce songs:
- Hit 'Em Up Style - Blu Cantrell.
- Got My Name Changed Back - Pistol Annies
- Flowers - Miley Cyrus
- Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
- Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
- Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know
- JoJo - Leave (Get Out)
- Caught Out There - Kelis
What songs or albums did I miss? What are your favourite divorce songs?
What are you reading? Listening to? Watching? What are your plans for Halloween? Do you have any?
I think I'll be having a quiet weekend. I'm looking forward to a chill one. I've been pretty flat out this week. I hope you have a chill one too!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not many tickets left for our Christmas party so make sure you grab one!
Enjoy this Halloween meat display at my local supermarket lol
