FNC - No longer round earth committed

Kia ora, how are you doing? It's Friday Night Chats time! I am so happy you're here with me. I have some really great reads to share this week. Like a lot. A lot. Let's chat!

It has been a pretty rough week. I have struggled with feeling very overwhelmed and sad. Usually, this time of year is my favourite. I adore Christmas. I love the warmer weather. And the kids' excitement about school holidays is contagious, even if school holidays mostly signal my husband not being paid for teacher aide mahi.

I usually get to visit family, which helps with the kids...And people generally seem to be in a better mood because they're likely to get a break over Christmas. Wellington is quieter because all of the public sector shuts down. I like that there's no traffic, and life seems to slow down a little.

But, I think I'm just too exhausted now to see the good in this time of year. I am struggling to continue the mutual aid fund at a time when it's most needed. I can't make the fundraising page I'd hoped to use work, because once again, there are pointless barriers.

Mostly, though, I feel sad that my youngest son is finishing primary school. He went from a small kindy to a small school, all on the same site. This has been our community for eight years. At the kindy, they taught him sign when he couldn't speak. At the primary school, they made him feel like he belonged. Then, when he lost all of his supports they tried so hard to keep helping him.

I've cried in the staffroom at my child's school countless times. I love the principal and SENCO. They've tried so hard with my little boy.

And now we're leaving. And we won't go to the leavers' dinner or the Hāngī celebration or the sleepover at the school or the prizegiving. Kids won't sign his T-shirt, and there won't be hugs at the school gate. There won't be tears of happiness or pride with other parents. There won't be anything to mark this transition.

Part of his autistic profile is a thing called Pathological Demand Avoidance which at first I thought was funny when we were told about it - because what child ever wants to do anything? But his manifests as not being able to cope with praise or attention from people outside of his family. If you give him a certificate, he interprets it as pressure to get more, which really distresses him.

He leaves school without friends and without fanfare. This is what he wants for now. Or is it? I don't know.

And it makes me so sad.

I would not change my son. I am proud of him and feel so lucky to have him. But sometimes having an autistic child feels like you're on the outside looking in.

Still, we will find other ways to celebrate him and the community that kept us going. I don't know how yet, but I know we'll figure it out.

Oh, and also, I have also realised when my posts migrated to Ghost from Substack all of the formatting dropped out - so I have to fix that on top of everything else. FML.

As you can tell I'm very ready for a break! Bring on Tuesday!

What I'm reading:

So, I think I'm going to buy Holding the Heavy Stuff by Ben Sedley after reading this review. And next week I'm hoping to make a start on my two new buys: Hoods Landing by Laura Vincent and Will There Ever Be Another You by Patricia Lockwood.

I am sharing a few articles from the NY Times with a RemovePaywall filter because the NY Times sucks, so I don't want you to pay them. But these particular articles are good so I want to talk to you about them lol. Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes).

The Guardian has published a major (and harrowing) investigation into the free birth movement. It's such a powerful piece and absolutely devastating. Be gentle with yourself around reading this one.

Influencers made millions pushing ‘wild’ births – now the Free Birth Society is linked to baby deaths around the world.

I want to talk about the piece (if you want to). It's such incredible journalism. And absolutely heartbreaking but also this bit!!!!!

Friends say Saldaya often took her ideological cues from her business partner. After Norris-Clark decided she did not believe in gravity, Saldaya announced she was no longer “round [Earth] committed”. When Norris-Clark said she no longer believed in germ theory, Saldaya told friends she did not wash her hands. 

NO LONGER ROUND EARTH COMMITTED. OH MY GOD.

The Women Quietly Quitting Their Husbands - Rather than deal with the drama of divorce, more and more women over 40 are choosing to just check out.

Here's another great piece of journalism from Kirsty Johnston - How the oil and gas industry helped rewrite New Zealand’s drilling rules.

This is a really good piece about an AI journalist: Journalists Have Been Turning Into AI Slop For Years - ChatGPT is the ideal employee. I relate to it a lot.

National deletes AI video of police seizing gang patches - the video is actually so gross.

Puberty blockers: why politicians overriding doctors sets a dangerous precedent

NZ’s draft science curriculum favours rote learning over critical thinking

Elon Musk Said Grok’s Roasts Would Be ‘Epic’ at Parties—So I Tried It on My Coworkers - It went about as well as you’d expect.

Andrew Little buddies up to the right

I absolutely loved this good old-fashioned rant by Simon Sweetman - The Beatles and Bob are The Best but We Must Stop Building New Monuments To Them — It’s Not Helping.

The kids don’t care. They listen to music via TikTok, and in the background, and/or they deep-dive entire catalogues and canons, and know more than you ever will. And if they don’t like your favourite bands it does not matter. They are not wrong. And neither are you. The kids are alright. The battle these days is just making sure they’re not alt-right. Who cares what they’re listening to, music-wise. It’s who they’re listening to on the YouTube machine that matters most. A couple of thousand new chances for indoctrination arriving every hour, at least. That’s way more of a problem than Junior not recognising that the cleaned up audio of the instrumental version of She’s Leaving Home contains traces of something special. (Spoiler: It really doesn’t!)

What I'm watching:

The ending of All Her Fault (TVNZ) blew me away. Good to add another TV show to the 'Good For Her' category.

I really like Pluribus on Apple+. I love an unhinged woman who is also a writer and also a lesbian.

I watched Citizen Sleuth on Docplay about a true crime podcaster who thought of herself as an investigator. It looks at the true crime genre and how it harms people. As y'all know, I loathe these citizen investigators. But I felt a real soft spot for this young woman who just got way too deep and was lured in by the money and fame of having a very popular podcast. She's a victim of the genre and capitalism.

I wrote about how much I hate it all here - Monster hunt / Man hunt - The Gabby Petito case and internet sleuthing...

My bestie Tam has a big rec for Physical: Asia. They have raved about it in the group chat. "It's so good - teams from Asia/Oceania compete in strength and endurance activities. Real excellent variety of bodies and fascinating feats of strength". It's on Netflix.

What I'm listening to:

I've been listening to Sarah Marshall's new podcast - The Devil You Know.

In the 1980s and 90s, Satan and his followers were accused of brainwashing children, sacrificing babies, and infiltrating North American society on a massive scale — yet these thousands of alleged Satanists were nowhere to be found. Even so, the narrative became embedded in our cultural memory, warping everything it touched — including the lives of innocent people.. And it never quite died out.

In a new 8-part series, Sarah Marshall (You’re Wrong About) explores the tangled web of the Satanic Panic, in a journey that will take you everywhere from Victoria, B.C. to rural Kentucky to San Antonio, Texas.

I really love Charlie XCX's new song Chains of Love. I'm been thrashing it. She really is a genius.

I'm also enjoying this song - Thunder Jackson - Love Sick Doctor and of course Robyn's Dopamine.

I'm looking forward to listening to some of the public lectures that Vic Uni has put online. You can listen to them here.

What are you listening to? Watching? Reading? What are your weekend plans?

I'm finalising a big gift guide next week that I'm very excited about. But mostly I'm very, very excited about going away with my bestie for a week on Tuesday. I've been hanging out for a getaway. I'm so excited and grateful.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Thank you, as always, for supporting me. I'm so grateful for the lovely messages after the Year in Revolt post. I'm so proud of us. I feel hopeful about 2026 when I think of all of you. x

Eddie and I will be at this market raising funds for Palestine tomorrow! Come say hi if you’re around!