I will find the good if it's the last thing I ever do.

It's hard to know what to write. I still feel desperately sad and angry if I'm honest. I'm trying really to look for the good. I'm trying to think about how many hundreds of thousands of people mobilised for the first time in this election and really tried to get people to vote for those most hurt by this government.

I am scared. And I know that when the ground feels uneven and I feel fear, I need to cling to what I know. I need to cling to my values.

And what I know is that hopelessness will not help me or us.

And I know my values haven't changed with this election outcome.

I'm still here for you and I'm still here for my neighbour in need. I will still serve my community with as much dedication and passion as I always have.

And I'll still try to find the good so I can continue to try to do good where I can.

I'm a flawed human being. I'm trying really hard. And I know there's lots of other people like me, they're tired like me and they're trying like me. So I'm going to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

No government can stop me caring. No billionaire or millionaire can stop me caring. In spite of it all, I'm going to stick to my values.

I'm going to try to keep believing in this country. In each of us. In our collective power.

I tried to find some good news to share to try to inspire us. I hope this helps.

• For all of you bird lovers, the Kākāpō population had a record-breaking breeding season this year.
• Direct adoptions of puppies and dogs increased by 72% across Tāmaki Makaurau this year.
• A new study has shown some promising results for improving cognition in dementia patients through music therapy.
• Around 160,000 new plants have been planted across the Ōtākaro Avon River Corridor, Brooklands and Port Hills red zone by volunteers, community groups, rangers and contractors in Ōtautahi.
• Whales, dolphins, so many fish and the local scallop population are now thriving in the Summer Isles thanks to a decade-long fight by locals to protect their coastline. The marine reserve is now described as a 'heaven for breeding fish'.
• Lebanon abolished the death penalty.
• Chile has become the first country in South America to eliminate dog-transmitted rabies.
• A charity ran a huge fundraising drive to buy an estate in northern Northumberland and turn it into a sanctuary for biodiversity.
• A world's first basic income trial has had great outcomes for indigenous communities and rainforest.
• Scientists discovered that dying corals can recover in record time simply by touching healthy clones, opening a promising new path to saving threatened reefs.

Chances to do something good

• Outline is searching for a Māori Board Member.
• Liz Abbott inspires me so much. She's created another beautiful calendar to benefit the Gaza mutual aid fund. She makes me believe there is still good in the world.
• The Prisoner Correspondence Network is hosting Christmas card drives nationwide. Find your local event here.
• Foster Hope is doing their annual pyjama drive.
• The Bald Angels Charitable Trust is sending kai boxes and personalised gifts to more than 400 families, including 1300 children this year. They need help to do this.
• Kiwi Christmas Books is collecting new books again.
• The Painga Project provides glasses for kids who can't afford them. They need help to continue.

I wish I had some inspiring words for you. I feel kind of numb. It's been a really hard few months for me. I'm struggling really.

I guess I'll just share what I've said before because I am still clinging to it.

Before our wedding, before we had our babies and before we knew what life would look like, my husband and I chose a reading that we thought summed up what our relationship was to us.

It’s by Michael Blumenthal and it’s called A Marriage.

You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.

But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.

So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner’s arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.

And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.

We had no idea then how much we would cling to this poem, and how it would become our approach not just to marriage, but to parenting and survival too.

It reminds me a lot of activism and advocacy.

The community is so very tired. We need arms to help hold us up. I worry that the house will fall.

Sometimes it feels like you don’t know how or where you can help. You don’t know what you can do. Sometimes you feel whakamā, like you can’t ask.

We need to ask more. How can I help you? Where can I help?

We need to muck in. We also need to ask for help.

I will keep sharing ways we can help each other and I guess I'll just keep hoping all of this matters because it has to. And we will keep the house from falling.

Please, for the love of God, buy a ticket for Date My Queer Mate so I don't also have to worry about selling tickets for events and paying everyone who needs to be paid.

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Also, for paid subscribers, please have a chat in the comments. I feel like we need community right now more than ever and even venting about how down we feel can still lift us all up.