Is your child posing a real, catastrophic risk to society?
The headlines were frightening: "Social media compared to smoking" and "Report warns of 'wave of radicalised children'. Could it be true? Could we be facing a war with our ‘socially isolated and anxious’ children?! Are our children just waiting for us to fall asleep before filming themselves chopping our heads off as part of a #HeadJob TikTok challenge?!?! Is that golden retriever really riding a jetski?!
I had to look into it!
Feel free to skip to the comments if you read this already in your email!
When I was a cub reporter, I was furious to be assigned a story on my first day about 'school ball fashion styles'. I fancied myself as a junior Nellie Bly* and this was not a story that was going to get me the front page.
So I ignored my assignment and hunted for another story. I sat at a bus stop and eavesdropped on teenagers, and just when I thought I'd wasted an hour, I heard one of them say that they were annoyed there would be breath testing at the ball.
BOOM. I interviewed the teens and got my front page. That story has probably been repeated a thousand times since then. I doubt I was the first to write it either. It's a great yarn because it gets parents wound up and it gets boomers - who buy the papers - wound up.
Because after all, teenagers - especially today's teenagers and yesterday's teenagers and tomorrow's teenagers - are the worst. They've got no manners, they don't respect their elders, they've got piercings and blue hair, and they wear their pants too low.
I followed up that story with other teen panic stories, all while I was a teenager myself. Great times! Yes, that was approximately 150 years ago, but little has changed. 'Teens gone wild' stories are still wildly popular.
Which is why we're getting a whole series on the Satanic Panic, I mean the Social Media Panic, on Stuff.
Keith Lynch
Like and subscribe if you think there should be a social media ban you guys! - stuff.co.nz
Stuff lecturing us about the dangers of social media makes as much sense as a tobacco company lecturing people on lung health. The media platform is a social media platform that's driven just as much by the attention economy as Facebook.
Stuff opinions editor Keith Lynch has suddenly decided that social media is the issue du jour.
"...New Zealand must send a clear message, and they cannot delay any longer: enough is enough," he begged readers.
You would think he was talking about the genocide, about which he continues to publish opinion pieces that are full of misinformation and eventually have to be removed after Stuff BFF Damien Grant is taken to the Press Council over and over... But no, he's talking about the dangers of social media!
"An election is looming and yet the platforms continue to have a wholly unchecked influence on all our lives." He could be talking about Stuff!
Keith Lynch's personal politics influence every single opinion piece on Stuff. This means their roster of "people wealthy enough to write for free" (columnists) includes a convicted fraudster who uses his columns to be gleefully awful to everyone from trans people to Palestinians. If you're Stuff, this isn't an issue. People getting their news from sources other than Stuff is an issue for Stuff. I mean, do you want to hear about what's happening in Palestine from someone who lives there, who is experiencing it, who has two degrees, who has studied the root causes and history of political aggression? Or do you want to hear it from an old man who spent $9000 on fireworks to try to make a friend?
Let's address the elephant in the room: Is social media bad?
Undoubtedly, no one will ever suggest that social media isn't dangerous to society. I certainly wouldn't. Facebook has literally facilitated genocide and coups. It's unlikely that anyone hates Zuck and Musk and the other social media titans more than me - a commie anti-capitalist leftist who has to use social media every day.
But - unfortunately, it's not only bad. And that's the part that we refuse to look at.
We seem incapable as a society of having a nuanced discussion about social media. For example, when have you ever seen the benefits of social media discussed? You wouldn't be reading this were it not for social media. You'd have one way to read opinion, analysis and news and that would be via Stuff dot co dot OH I SEE.
Think about everyone you became friends with through chats online. Think about the friendships solidified through a group chat. Think about the times at 3am when exhausted and up with your baby you talked to another mother online. Think about where and when you've found community, realised you're not as alone as you thought, been sent seeds from someone in an online garden group or donated your baby's cot on a page for new mums or felt hopeful watching people offer up rooms in their homes after a natural disaster in your local community group.
Think about all you've learned, all you've understood, all the ways you've changed your mind - from hearing about someone else's experience. Think about what you've found out about yourself. About each other. What advice you've been given. The laughs you've had, the connection, the community....
In the words of Dr Furter (a leader in biochemical research): "it wasn't all bad was it? Not really even half bad".
The question on everyone's lips is: Should we ban social media for teens?
I can't help but think it's the wrong question. If the question isn't 'how do we protect teenagers from the worst elements of social media' then the question should be: Should we ban social media for everyone?
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans)
And, yeah, may as well. But to be fair, we should also ban AI, which is a giant plagiarism and misinformation machine. We should ban grandparents from uploading all of their grandkids' baby photos into ChatGPT to make them look like Minions for no reason. We should ban the messenger function that allows pics from strangers so I don't have to see old man dick when I'm trying to work.
In fact, we should ban every man from using social media because so many of them sexually harass women online, and they're responsible for almost all of the content that causes harm to teenagers. We should ban the beauty industrial complex. And the war propaganda arm of fascist governments like the United States and Israel.
But will any of that actually happen? No.
So, let's be real.
Have we tried literally anything else other than banning social media, which objectively won't work?
No.
I mean, literally just taxing the global social media platforms properly would change how they're used in Aotearoa AND allow us to properly fund mental health support, which would offset some of the social harm they cause.
Have we created youth spaces and funded youth events so young people feel they have other places to go that aren't just 'online'? Oh, we haven't? We've actually defunded programmes that support youth mental health? Cool.
OK, well, we know queer and trans people find a lot of social media support to be life-saving. Have we tried not having pointless bills that attack trans children and adults for no reason? Oh.
Have we tried imposing any compliance fines on social media giants? No? Have we tried funding in-person groups for at-risk communities to meet face-to-face? What about looking to iwi to lead kanohi ki te kanohi (face-to-face) initiatives? What about providing resources to actually enforce the Harmful Digital Communications Act? Or making the Harmful Digital Communications Act actually workable? Or funding an organisation like Netsafe but one that actually helps? What about programmes to support parents to enforce digital age protection software for their teens? How about we address the harm caused by engagement-driven algorithms and see how we can change those?
Oh no? We're not doing that?
Should we maybe crack down on the most prolific trolls and spreaders of misinformation given we know exactly who they are after research by the Disinformation Project? What about an act that demands corporate responsibility from anti-competitive social media platforms?
No? Oh. OK.
Emily Writes
Is it at all possible that your child is depressed because they see the world ignoring a genocide and climate change, and everyone is talking about how Trump is going to start another world war, not including the current war he started, and nobody has any money and mum and dad might lose their jobs because the government keeps sacking people to replace them with AI?
Wow, you're starting to sound like a woke snowflake trans-loving terror-supporting green leftie communist now.
If you actually believe that changing the way we support each other and building offline community, including organised neighbourhood support networks, well-funded support programmes providing connection to combat isolation and loneliness, and resourced communities of care for all would make the biggest difference in minimising harm on social media - WELL, you might want to try reading Stuff.
Because they have a ban to sell you... And you won't even have to think about it.
Doesn't that feel nice? Scroll away. Don't forget to like and subscribe and to leave a comment!
Also here is a post with some actually useful things you can do for free(!) or cheaply to keep kids safe online.
Share my stuff to your favourite social network that is causing the decline of society and corrupting the youth
*Turns out mental illness was the only thing we had in common lol