Need a village? Well, we better make them!

As parents, we are often told ‘you need a village’, then in the same breath, ‘there’s no village anymore’. It can feel pretty rubbish. I mean, there’s nothing worse than feeling isolated and then feeling like you’re to blame for that isolation.

It’s not easy to build a village. But like everything, it starts with one small step. So I figured I’d take a step…hopefully with you.

In a quest to change the isolation many families feel, particularly the families of neurodivergent kids, I’ve been thinking about how we can create community. Community doesn’t have to be big. Our steps toward it don’t have to be big either.

A while ago, we created a place where people can send items to neurodivergent kids and adults, and neurodivergent kids and adults can request items.

Back then, I said this:

In this whare, we know that to have a special interest is well…special. It can fill you up when your cup is nearly empty, and it can sustain you when nothing else is going right. Your facts will always be there - orderly, waiting, sure. Even if your feelings are so much harder to name, too complex, too confusing.

So, we have been a bit of a quest as a whānau to share the joy of special interests. We’ve been so lucky that people have shared with us amazing things for our son to add to his collection. Maps from all around the world, flags from everywhere, babysitters club books that would have cost us a fortune if we bought them off TradeMe…

We wondered how we could spread this joy. We decided to start a little group: Special Interests Sharing Aotearoa.

The Special Interests Sharing Aotearoa group has been pumping for a while now and I have decided to kick off a bit of a phase two. Can you be part of someone else’s village? Can you share your knowledge? Your expertise? Your passion?

I thought I’d start a bulletin board of sorts - this will live on the Special Interests Sharing Aotearoa page but also here on Emily Writes Weekly.

I’ve talked about this a lot, but the one thing I hear most from families is that it can feel so lonely raising a child who doesn’t fit into this neurotypical world with all of its strange social norms and rules. Special interests can be a bridge for children and adults who feel left out. They can be a support for parents struggling to watch their child be excluded.

So here’s a simple idea: match people who know about specific topics with kids and adults who are passionate about them.

So - let’s kōrero! 🗣️

If you want to connect, comment below - I’ll be opening comments up to unpaid subscribers as well, which we don’t usually do here. I’ll also be running a spreadsheet in the background that has folks’ email addresses and phone numbers to share.

You can email me at specialinterestsnz@gmail.com if you want to connect directly or get details not listed here.

E iti noa ana nā te aroha, a small thing given with love.

Kōrero + connect

Here are some wonderful people who’ve already put their hands up to share or connect:

Choo-Choo! I'm a locomotive engineer (and ex-ECE teacher) and I drive the Matangi (electric) units here in Wellington. I'm happy to chat with kids or adults with a special interest in rail. I could facilitate some access to standby units (weekends or interpeak at Wellington Station) for anyone who might need a bit more time or be taking gradual steps in working towards becoming comfortable using this type of transport. Contact via specialinterestsnz@gmail.com and I’ll connect you!

Rock Out: My tween has offered to jam and show the basics of playing a guitar with any keen kids in Pōneke. Send an email to specialinterestsnz@gmail.com or say hi to Eddie at Kids Rock 4 Palestine.

Huntaway! I have an 11-year-old autistic PDA son with ADHD who loves guns and hunting and would be desperate for me to get a gun license, which I'm fairly reluctant about. Still, I'd be happy for him to connect with someone who is a safe, kind, nurturing character who can take him under his wing and teach him how to use a gun safely, maybe practice something like possums or rabbits or even have a go mucking around with targets in their backyard. I live in the Franklin area of South Auckland, so if someone in that area could connect. Contact via specialinterestsnz@gmail.com and I’ll connect you!

Penpals! I’m an AuDHD mum with a five-year-old son who loves all things geography and would love to make friends as penpals or with anyone Christchurch-based. Contact nj.roche@gmail.com to connect.

Singalongs! Looking for someone who might be able to have a Zoom about song-writing with two keen tweens. They want to learn and are eager to talk to anyone who knows the ins and outs of songwriting. Or in person if they’re in Pōneke. Contact via specialinterestsnz@gmail.com and I’ll connect you!

Sustainability! I used to be a nurse specialist in Eating Disorders and now teach both swimming and sustainability so happy to be hooked up with anyone interested in those areas. Contact msmaxbennett@gmail.com to connect with Maxine.

Go fish! ADHD mum here. My 13 yr old (AuDHD) is obsessed with all things fishing and gaming. Any other fishing mad kids out there in Hamilton? Contact Sarah via specialinterestsnz@gmail.com.

Boo! Autistic ten-year-old keen to talk about the show Ghosts. Mainly, they want you to listen to them talk without interrupting and sometimes answer questions like ‘who is your favourite character?’ etc. BBC version or US version. Contact via specialinterestsnz@gmail.com and I’ll connect you!

Dig it! I work in Kenepuru, Porirua, and at our work we have a small digger, roller, and loader, plus a few trucks, and a bus. For health and safety reasons, they can't be running, but if you find anyone who wants to look at and sit in any of these things, I can facilitate that on a weekend when they aren't in use (some are used some Saturdays but not on Sundays). Email pania@driveright.nz to connect.

Solo together!: I'm a solo parent with one AuADHD child and two seemingly neurotypical children. I would love to connect with other solo parents who are juggling the different needs of their tamariki solo. Contact Sophie by emailing specialinterestsnz@gmail.com and I’ll connect you!

Yum! I am Kathy, and I run a rescue food cafe. I am passionate about getting kids and adults to cook, taste, try out new flavours and conjure up bottom-of-the-fridge recipes. I work at Waiheke Island Sustainability Centre, and we do zero waste and loads of different styles of composting. I have done YouTube recipe cooking vids, but would love to help anyone eat a rainbow from A for Aubergine to Z for Zucchini. Happy to help with food, recipes, zero waste and composting. Contact Kathy by emailing kathyvoyles@gmail.com.

Game on! 12 yr old AuDHD - loves object shows, Algodoo, Tier maker, Roblox, JJT Difficulties, Minecraft and modding his own worlds and items. YouTube is his go-to for Bill Wurtz, V Sauce, It's Jim (& much more). He loves making maths up using wiki fandom (and learning about cartoon worlds, characters and gaming stuff too). Can connect via discord or in person - Cambridge or Hamilton. Mum is Emma. Contact Emma by emailing specialinterestsnz@gmail.com and I’ll connect you!

Attention wāhine! I run a consulting business as a software developer and would love to talk to anyone but particularly young women about what the it field is like. When I was at uni I was one of three women in a full lecture theatre so it would be nice to tip those scales a little. I've also done physics and maths at uni level so can encourage in that area also. Contact Sarah by emailing specialinterestsnz@gmail.com and I’ll connect you!

Leave a comment below if there’s a topic you reckon you could chat to a kid or adult about. Or if you have a special interest you'd like to discuss with someone, let us know. If you’re shy, you can email me and I’ll add you to this list: specialinterestsnz@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for supporting my mahi by becoming a free or paid subscriber. This newsletter only exists because of you.

Also, I’m hoping we can help this mama! If you can share and tell them to contact specialinterestsnz@gmail.com I’d be very grateful. I’m in contact with this mama and she is really hopeful someone can help 🙏