When did gigs become so exclusive?

Don't kids have the right to be elbowed in the face in the pit?

When did gigs become so exclusive?

Last week, I went to see Kneecap - an Irish hip-hop trio with a punk ethos. My son absolutely loves Kneecap and we’ve spent many times in the car pretending to be Mo Chara and Móglaí Bap while our puppy stands in for DJ Próvaí.

He texted me throughout the gig. Did I get a DJ Próvaí balaclava? Yes. Do I promise to take lots of videos? Yes. Can he share my Kneecap tee shirt with me? Yes.

The next day as soon as he was home from school he insisted I show him every clip I’d taken on my phone. ‘Faaar! You went in the mosh ma! I wish I could have been in the mosh too’.

I couldn’t help but think how gutting it is that there are no opportunities for him to do the things I grew up doing - being bashed around in a wholesome but injurious, joyous and a bit frightening but ultimately uplifting mosh pit.

I couldn’t help but also think about how poor the mosh pit etiquette was at Kneecap. And how that’s expected now too - because of this issue of almost all gigs being R18. I mean, 18 year-olds are joining mosh pits for the first time at 18. Rather than in their mid teens. Had they joined in at say 15, they’d have elderly bogans like myself explaining what they need to do (wait for the beat to drop before breaking the circle pit) and what they need to NOT do (bring drinks into the pit).

Instead, they have no idea what they’re doing and they’re perpetually confused as to why the audience is running around, jumping, crowd surfing, and smashing into each other - instead of standing still holding their phones in front of their faces.

So, it’s a two-fold problem. And you might be thinking - ‘Emily, this is not a real problem. Kids don’t need to mosh to be fully formed adults and mosh pit etiquette is not a real issue’.

Well, you might be right but also, let’s consider this: A new paper commissioned by the UN has found that life satisfaction and happiness had fallen among young people over the past decade. Academic David Blanchflower, who contributed to the paper, told The Guardian: “The young have become isolated. It’s also not so much that people are sitting there on the phone, it’s what they’re not doing. They’re not going out as much; playing with their friends, interacting with others, or having as much sex.”

To this, I have to think, what real options have teens got to do cool stuff? When I was growing up, I was going to gigs all over Sydney just with mates and then catching the train home. I saw countless local bands - Silverchair, Frenzal Romb, Grinspoon, Regurgitator, Spiderbait, The Living End… When I moved to Aotearoa I saw the usuals here too Elemeno P, Shihad, Blindspott, 8 Foot Sativa etc. etc. etc.

All ages and U18 gigs were always on and they were free or very cheap. We would go with friends all dressed up in our docs and with hair wet from a quick re-dye with Raspberry Beret. We would come home sweaty, messy, with pink hair dye dripping down our faces - completely exhausted and happy.

In his thesis, Dive Into the Pit: Moshing and the Pit: Moshing and Its Effects On Perceived Stress, Sense of Belonging, & Self-Esteem In College Undergraduates, Tyler Edwards of the University of Southern Mississippi interviewed teens who were regularly moshing. One said, “Moshing to me is a way of self-expression in that you’re able to take all your anger and release it. Every time I dance I let loose all my built up frustration and feel a ton better after the show”.

Another said “I believe it is a teen way of letting feelings out, a so called therapy.”

Just last week, an ABC story Hardcore music mosh pits in Sydney act as 'therapy' for queer and gender-diverse fans shared similar views - Isla Fae Cato, 26, said "It's an overwhelmingly joyous occasion … there's this community, in the sense you have grown people wanting to just express themselves and have a good time.”

And I think most of us would have seen the various studies saying Metal fans are happier than everyone else. Metalheads specifically “reported higher levels of youthful happiness”. You can’t tell me that isn’t in part because of the moshing.

three men carrying women surrounded by many people during daytime
Photo by Jade Masri

And if that doesn’t sell you, this great review of an all ages gig at Whammy Bar last year will - Review: Double Whammy’s first all-ages gig proves punk is for the children.

My husband and I have been in literally countless pits but feel our kid hasn’t got anywhere near the opportunities we do to let loose with hundreds of other sweaty and happy music-lovers.

We have only been able to take him to shows that are huge events - AC/DC, Foo Fighters, Iron Maiden, and tomorrow Slipknot. And he’s loved those. He’s had those incredible highs of weeping at your favourite song going off or insisting the lead singer pointed to you. But, these are not shows where a tween can go into the pit for the first time - we are always in seated areas.

I know for many parents the idea of a kid moshing is their worst nightmare. But as a seasoned gig-goer and mosh enthusiast, I would have felt completely confident taking my kid into the mosh at smaller gigs I’ve been to including Kneecap.

Ideally though, he’d be able to see local bands he loves regularly and he’d have the same options to dance and let loose that we did.

My son before seeing Iron Maiden (for the first time)

I want him to feel the euphoria of crowd surfing, the excitement and fear of a wall of death, the freedom of a circle pit…

But there truly is no opportunity. He is devastated that Supergroove’s show is R18 - and really, how is a Supergroove show R18? Alien Ant Farm - surely a band only for under 18s and their millennial parents…nope, R18 too. He can’t go to Homegrown (again wtf) - despite us growing up going to Big Day Outs from 13.

Baby Emily at The Big Day Out. Let’s not talk about the tee shirt Jesus Christ.

wrote about the bonkers decision to make Laneways R18 last year, and we had a chat on the phone about this issue. He too laments what the kids are missing out on.

“My first mosh pit was when The Prodigy played the Big Day Out in 1996, only Breathe and Firestarter were out and I still remember the rush when Firestarter started up - I got lifted up and pushed several metres sideways with no way to stop it,@ he told me. I was also in that mosh and it was amazing btw.

“I started panicking and then realised 'No! This is it!' It was completely addictive and exhilarating and something you can't understand until you've experienced it. Same thing happened with KoRn in 1999, an entire sea of people jumping in time, united over the same thing. But also looking after each other. Nothing beats that feeling eh?”

He described his experiences in the pit as formative, a time where you learn how much you can handle, how much is safe for you, what your limit is, and crucially how to read the crowd.

“I remember venturing into the Blink-182 mosh in 2000 and feeling like it was too dangerous and not for me. That set was stopped constantly because people were falling over and getting injured. You sort of build up a picture right? Of what might be a safe environment and what might not be, based on the types of fans, the band, the music, and just the feeling in the air. Sometimes, it's just your gut saying - this feels wrong - so you get the hell out. And that's all based on experience, if you've been lucky enough to have it.”

These experiences translate into the kinda real world smarts teens need to have for almost every aspect of their life. Consent, community, trusting your gut - the pit is a classroom and the learning is actually fun.

Even if you’re sure moshing isn’t for kids - just consider the music they’re missing out on. For a kid like mine, a kid who is in a band and is obsessed with music, it’s absolutely gutting to know your favourite band is right there and you can’t see them.

Older but not yet wiser (pre-kids)

I also fundamentally believe that cutting kids out of events that used to be open to all is a brutal act. I mean, isn’t that what music is about? Inclusivity?

Booze culture might be to blame. I talked to my mate who has been to more gigs than anyone I know and who absolutely loves music. He talked about what the model is now.

“It’s a tragedy really because venues are struggling financially and alcohol is essentially the thing propping it all up. So gigs now are geared around alcohol - it’s not about the music.”

Back in the day, at Big Day Out, there was a booze pen that kept the drinkers separate. It meant people drank less and didn’t bring their booze into the pit. It also meant under 18s were able to attend.

Now, the focus is on alcohol and the results are grim. To that end, it’s in all of our interests to consider ways we can bring young people back into gigs. It will benefit not only the children but all of us.

We have all seen how uncontrolled drinking ruins concerts, whether it’s the boomer next to you screaming every lyric wrongly in your ear to the 20-year-old barfing all over the floor of the toilets.

Parents taking their kids to gigs would likely also mean they’d keep themselves under control and it might just bring the focus back onto what it should be about - the music.

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With my babies - ready to rock (except the little one who prefers to not be around other people lol).