You WILL have a good 2026

My son has an endearing quality: he is incredibly literal. A long-running joke in our family is asking each other, 'How did you sleep?' and then closing our eyes and saying 'like this'. When we are in a rush, we sometimes say to each other, 'We don't have any horses!' - as in, we can't hold them.

We never say anything costs an arm and a leg anymore because of the pure horror we saw on our son's face - he really thought we were sacrificing limbs for concert tickets. We know there's no point in having cake and not eating it. He doesn't beat around the bush, so we try not to either.

Alongside his loathing of idioms, he doesn't like sarcasm as it's not easy to understand, and he's made me rethink language and how we communicate in quite profound ways.

One glorious way this shows up is how he will often hold my face in his hands and look into my eyes and say somewhat aggressively "You WILL have a good day!".

I learned this is because when I would say, 'Have a good day!' he heard it as a demand. Somehow, lost in translation, it became 'You WILL have a good day'. Something like a command, but also something like a known thing. A fervent wish? Or maybe an inevitability.

I've been thinking about this as we head into 2026. I often spend this time thinking about how I can improve myself. I am painfully susceptible to New Year's Resolution culture. I am also incapable of fulfilling any New Year's Resolutions that I set.

So, I always eventually become depressed that I lost my chance at being a better person, and I slide into the comfort of being the grub that I am.

But not this year. No, this year I will be different (uh oh).

I am just deciding to be nice to myself?!

I am not an active relaxer, and I have a 'must be a good girl but not in a hot way' part of my personality that makes me think I have always to be doing something to help others to be allowed to be alive.

So, resting is not easy for me. But these last few days, I've been lying about - reading, not writing, doing not much. I have been sleeping in and trying not to feel guilty about it. I have been leaning into just enjoying things instead of questioning whether they're 'right' or I'm deserving of doing them.

It has felt good. Not incredible - I still feel guilty 70% of the time. Importantly, I think it's what I have to commit to if I'm going to live without the anxiety of someone being hunted for sport.

So, I have decided I am going to have a good 2026, whether I like it or not. And I want you to have that too. I'll be doing that, in part, by getting excited about things and taking brain breaks from the horrors. Of course, there is immense privilege in being able to take a brain break from the horrors, but I want to keep serving others, and I can't do that if I'm constantly stressed.

So, here are some things I'm going to do this year to be nice to myself:

I'm going to stop reading stuff I think I should read

I want to learn about the world and not be sheltered. I want to understand my place in life and know how I can help others. This means I often gravitate toward non-fiction, books that need to be read.

I also want to be a better writer, so I read literature - I read writers who are the best in their fields, those who inspire me.

Both these genres of books are hard. For example, I feel I need to understand why Grenfell Tower fell and what lessons Aotearoa could learn from this. But then I feel so hopeless that I feel frozen.

I read literature and am amazed at the beautiful ways writers can bring magic to the most mundane things - but I have to focus so much to follow storylines that are 6/*so stunningly written but wildly complex. It's exhausting...

But, smut? I could read that 24-7. Seven adopted brothers who are all gay and are all assassins? Yes please. Gay cowboys? Yes, ma'am. Gay plumbers? Unblock these pipes, baby! Gay hockey players? Obviously. Gay mathematicians? 100%.

I used to feel guilty seeing the pile of 'good' books on my bedside table as I curled up for another re-read of the horniest smut I could find. I have decided, though, that it's a crucial brain break and I need it. These books are designed for self-care - the storylines are predictable, you know what will happen, and you get to enjoy the show. In my favourite genre, there's no homophobia, and everyone has a happy ending (literally). I need that.

I'm going to lean into being a horny, inappropriate, feral embarrassment

As above, I'm calling it that 2026 is going to be the year of being Horny on Main. If you've been reading my work for a while, you'll know that I have often begged for less PG media. I have complained a lot that film and TV is becoming sexless.

This year was shaping up to be another depressing year for sex in media when, suddenly, Heated Rivalry was thrust into our lives. And what a gift it is.

I am so hot for this show, I literally cannot take it. Usually, I would try to focus on other things but I've decided that actually I'm going to make this TV show my whole personality until I've wrung every last bit of dopamine out of it.

That means: Rewatching it over and over, rereading the books, and endlessly watching reels and interviews with Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie.

I have also downloaded the audio erotica app Quinn and I have listened to their fairy story even though I don't really like romantasy. I struggle with the idea of fairies being hot because they’re tiny to me and it makes me feel like I’m a giant in the corner watching two tiny men get it on I can’t explain it.

Basically, I am going to be ferally horny for as long as I can. And I'm not going to be sorry about it because we have an election coming up, and you know that's going to suck all of the horniness out of our country and replace it with misery.

I'm going to write less.

I have tried hard to write this newsletter only twice a week. But the issue is that you only get new subscribers to replace those who leave if you write a lot. Preferably three times a week. So that's what I've been doing.

When I write less, I don't gain as many subscribers, and I lose subscribers.

But the pace is quite exhausting. And I have both my kids starting new schools this year. I want to be available to them as much as I can while still earning money to feed us all.

So I'm going to try to find a better balance. Which hopefully means writing less.

I'm going to get excited about things and stop being a buzzkill.

There's a lot to be excited about in 2026, and I'm going to try to really lean into that excitement and try to remember that being good is a complex thing.

I often find myself struggling to enjoy things because of the state of the world. How could you not? Surely that's what makes us human? We shouldn't be able to just go about our everyday lives when there's a genocide happening. But - how do you keep going with that knowledge? I don't know. I really don't.

I find it very challenging when I see all these 'I'm protecting my peace' influencers who do nothing for their communities. On the flipside, I think it does look nice not to care about anything.

My compromise is that I'm still going to care loudly. And I'm still going to do everything I can to help my community. And I'm going to grab joy aggressively and really wring the shit out of it (or whatever Mary Oliver said).

Specifically, I'm going to try to do that with media, which has been increasingly complicated this year, as I put caveats around everything I consume to the point where I am mostly just sad about everything.

So, in no particular order, I'm going to get too excited about:

• Seeing Chappell Roan at Laneways (and Wet Leg)
• The gay biker movie with Alexander Skarsgard

• The new Bridgerton season

• Book 7 in the Elite 8 Studios series
• The Pitt season 2
• Wuthering Heights - The Charli XCX album and the film

I would love to know what you're looking forward to media-wise in 2026. I promise I won't yuck your yum.

Most of all, I WILL have a good 2026. And you WILL too.

As always, thank you so much for supporting me. December/January are my worst months for people unsubscribing - so thank you so much for staying here with me. It means a lot. Arohanui Emily x

(In my opinion supporting writers and creatives in 2026 is a good NY resolution if you're doing them haha! Look, God loves a trier).

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TLDR: This year I will be aggressively seeking joy in all of its forms I WILL be delighted by life and be hopeful and believe in a better future whether it’s the last thing I fucking do 😤😊

I will be channelling Pipi by biting TERFS + Fascists + Zionists and I will be cute and angry and feral and loud.

I will keep trying. And I will keep showing up. And I will keep on keeping on.

2025 was awful for the world but many of us really tried to do some good. I doubt 2026 will be better - but we are going to keep trying to do some good.

Fucked off + feral + fighting fascists for 2026.

Let’s goooooooo licks hockey stick suggestively 🚬🤼🌋