Goodnight and good luck

I am really tired.

If you’re reading this and you’re a parent of young children you’re probably very tired too. I wanted to write this though because it’s basically all I’m thinking about right now. How tired I am.

Days are quite foggy. Dull throbbing behind my eyes is normal. I’m often caught staring into space trying to recapture a long-gone train of thought. I try not to snap and keep perky and cheery. But I am honest with my toddler – Mama is tired, I’m sorry for getting angry but I’m just a bit tired and when you’re tired everything is a bit hard. I think it’s important not to hide from kids the reality of…..I don’t know: this life.

Sundays are hard. The week looms ahead and you don’t know how much sleep – if any – is ahead. It feels a bit overwhelming. You want to prepare for the week ahead, have to, but getting off the couch feels like climbing Mt Everest.

It seems a silly thing to write about but gosh, I never realised how tiring this whole parenting lark would be. How tiring it is. Not sleeping of course, that: just falling asleep and then the baby cries out. Or that: finally fallen heavily into dreams and then you’re catapulted out by a toddler touching your face.

Side note – Is your toddler terrifying at night? The other night mine started singing “Where is pinky? Where is pinky? Run away! Run Away!” – TERRIFYING. Like in my half dead/asleep state I do not need to see a shadow in the hall and hear that sing-song tiny voice floating through the house. There are enough people in this house who regularly shit their pants, thank you very much.

Where was I? Tired. Everyone says – you will be tired. And of course you know, this of course you do. But you can’t prepare for it. And three years into this parenting thing I’m still struck dumb by how exhausting it is. I’m used to it now – used to not getting more than three hours at a time. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like my life is a slow car crash sometimes.

Because as I said – it’s not just the waking up to babies and toddlers and all of that. And also the – getting so used to not sleeping you can’t sleep even when they don’t wake up. It’s the emotional and physical and every day exhaustion too: Needing to be patient, considered, answering 80 trillion questions a day, picking up clothes, changing nappies, not having time to yourself. That stuff is just depleting. It’s just HARD.

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And I often think the following three things:

1) There are other parents not sleeping right? What if they are sleeping? Nobody seems that tired?

I am sure not sleeping is the norm but we just whack on a smile because what are you going to do about it? No point just moping right? Complaining won’t change anything. I do believe that – If I go on and on about how tired I am I feel even more tired.

But – sometimes it’s so good to hear another mum talking about how her kids aren’t sleeping. It really is. And not in a – yay, you’re exhausted way. Just a – that’s right, this is normal way. Because otherwise, it’s so easy to think everybody else’s kids are sleeping but yours aren’t.

When it’s 3am and I’ve been up every few hours – thinking there are other mums doing this too, it makes me feel better. It just does. That we all struggle sometimes. And we are all tired. It makes me feel normal. And it’s normal to not get sleep. Not to get on my high horse – but “society” wants us to believe that it’s not normal for kids to be up during the night. Baby sleep training experts are all about this narrative that your kid is messed up because they don’t sleep 12 hours from birth – they’re wrong. It’s normal.

2) Is it my fault that my kids don’t sleep?

Again, my rational brain tells me that it’s not my fault my kids aren’t sleeping. They’re sick, their routines have been out of wack, it’s normal developmental stuff. But we live in a world where we are told that babies sleep through from eight weeks old. And if I so much as yawn in public someone tells me how to get my kids to sleep through the night. And the thing is – I’m fine with what I’m doing. You may think I shouldn’t have my kids coming into bed with me, or I should not breastfeed to sleep, or use a swaddle or not use a swaddle, not use white noise, not allow them to have a bottle or aĀ  night feed or a night light or whatever. But it means nothing to you. I have tried everything under the sun and you know what works? Everything and nothing.

When kids sleep through they sleep through and there is no magic formula. There is no threshold they cross where they sleep through from then on. Some months they might sleep well. Some weeks they might not. Children are like adults – some are good sleepers, some are not. Some need a lot of help to get to sleep and stay asleep, some don’t.

I went through a period when I was about 20 where I didn’t sleep for more than a few hours without waking. It lasted almost a year. Why should a child be any different?

Does this mean I don’t blame myself for my kids waking multiple times in a night? Of course not. Because I’m a bit of a dick that way.

3) I’m never going to sleep again.

I know I will. I know this is temporary. But also sometimes I almost have a panic attack at the sheer force of how much my kids need me right now. And they do. They do need me. And this will pass. And it won’t take long. But right now – I just want to sleep. I want to sleep so bad it hurts. Not a nap here and there but a REAL PROPER FIVE HOURS. And that will come, and soon. Eddie had a period of about four or five months where he slept all through the night and often he does sleep through now – so I know it will happen. I have experience to fall back on. But in the midst of it sometimes it’s hard to keep those illogical thoughts at bay.

This isn’t forever. This isn’t forever.

And I am tired of feeling lonely in this. I don’t often talk about how tired I am because when I say I’m tired I don’t want anyone to tell me what to do about it. I know what to do. I know what suits my parenting style. What feels right for me and my family. I’m not being a martyr because I don’t parent the way you – unsolicited advice giver – does. I don’t need advice on how to get them to sleep. I don’t need to hear that your kids were sleeping through by the time they were the age my kids are. I’m happy for you – but our kids are different.

You telling me that is as logical as me saying that I sleep all night when you tell me that you have insomnia.

So I guess all this post is saying is – I’m tired.

And to you, if your head is just static white noise and you feel like you might just fall over, I want to say:

You’re not alone.

I’m tired too.

It’s not your fault your kids’ aren’t sleeping or you can’t sleep.

It’ll pass.

But right now it’s shit.

And I’m sorry about that.

Good luck for the week.

x

***

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69 Comments on “Goodnight and good luck

  1. Your tweets about not sleeping have really made me think how much we do need more parental leave – it seems ridiculous to expect people to be going to work when they’re being woken up all night looking after their kids. I mean surely people aren’t going to be working to their full capacity and it’d just be so much better for society if people/mothers could stay home longer, if they wanted to of course. I know theyre adding another 2 weeks or so but that doesn’t really cut it, I think it needs to be a year.

    • Yes. Parental leave is definitely not enough. And I think there’s a reason why people push the idea that kids need “sleep training” and should be sleeping through from birth, and it’s tired to parents working outside the home.

      • Totally agree. It staggers me that we are told to expect the most vulnerable and dependent members of our society, those most unable to do so (our babies), to give us enough sleep! WTF, it is strong healthy adults who should be helping mothers, babies and any other sleep deprived family members to get enough sleep!

  2. You are not alone! We do not sleep and what gets me through it all is your blog! I read through “how to get your baby to sleep” and instead of crying I break out in hysterical laughter šŸ™‚ And we quote you alot in our household. Thank you!

  3. Oh Emily,

    I so feel your pain and I just can so relate to that feeling of being so so sleep deprived. I am letting many other things slip due to it, including my friendships and I feel so weighed down by sleeplessness. Thanks for writing this. It does feel better to know I’m not alone. It’s 9:30am here in the uk and I’ve been awake since 4:30am and sometimes I just want to lop my tits off and chuck them into the cot for the baby.

    Xxx

    • Oh my gosh I fantasise about cutting off my boobs all the time. ā¤ļøā¤ļø And yes, I so feel you on letting friendships slip. I want to see people but the effort, it’s just so much effort!

  4. Yes. Yeeeeees.

    One of the best things about the internet (and oh my gosh there are SO MANY GREAT THINGS ABOUT THE INTERNET) is going on a mother’s page in the middle of the night, in the same timezone, and finding that there are HEAPS of mothers up breastfeeding, shushing, whatever, at 3am. Sometimes on a postnatal depression group I’m part of someone will say something a bit desperate in the middle of the night, and BOOM there is always someone right there to be helpful and reassuring.

    Because none of us are sleeping.

    • Oh – seeing your comment reminded me I meant to link to your sleep archives. Of course I didn’t. Because I forget everything because I’m so tired! So http://sacraparental.com/2013/01/22/making-parenting-easier-3-get-some-sleep/

      And yes, I’m with you, middle of the night Twitter used to be my saviour. Unfortunately the Ham is a magpie and he gets distracted by the light of my phone so I can’t go online during the night wake ups. But it was my whole life when Eddie was wee. Particularly when he was sick in hospital. A life line. ā¤ļø

  5. Oh and another thing I often think of is the research lately on pre-industrial sleeping habits of adults, where it seems that it has often been normal to be up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours (WHAT!?). Just to kind of rebut the idea that 8-hours of solid sleep for adults, let alone for kids, is ‘normal’.

    (But I’d take the eight hours if offered šŸ™‚ )

    http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-16964783

    • Eight hours seems like an unattainable dream. I read a fascinating article a while back about some people who only need two hours sleep – they hold down multiple jobs. Like some weird thing in their brain which means they don’t need sleep to enable them to function.

      • I have a friend who averages 5 hours by choice/temperament and he really does achieve more than the average human. Sigh.

  6. The dull throbbing behind the eyes – I remember it only too well. From my experience, the lack of / interrupted sleep part ends, but the being on call to make on the spot decisions / responses to constant requests, questions, problems, sibling conflict etc part doesn’t. That is definitely the most untalked about and very tiring part of parenthood. My theory is that it’s more intense for a longer time in smaller families. More parent-child interaction. If you had 6 kids, I like to think they would be mainly preoccupied with each other and the bigger ones would do a lot of that. Good luck for the week. All parents of small children are amazing, including you.

    • Yes, parenting is such a huge responsibility it’s no wonder it’s exhausting. That doesn’t make it easier does it. I think you’re right. Thank you so much for your comment. You’re amazing too! ā¤ļø

      • Yes, I forgot about the huge responsibility part when pre-parenthood my head was filled with images of adorable babies. Also I’d like to say blogs like this one were thin on the ground when I was at your stage of things (or at least I didn’t know of their existence), and I would REALLY, REALLY have appreciated it at that time. So, I am thrilled for all the other new parents here that you are doing this. It’s a massive public service. (No pressure of course…!)

  7. I am so tired.

    I keep asking my ten month old why she doesn’t like sleep. I love sleep. She’d much rather bonk me in the face with her toys while I lie in bed and moan quietly.

    My mother keeps saying to enjoy it now because soon she’ll be a teenager and I’ll never see her. It doesn’t help.

    • So doesn’t help! Be grateful / enjoy it – is my most hated advice in parenting! I hope you get some sleep soon x

  8. Spot on as always. Those supposed ‘baby sleep experts’ have a lot to answer for. Yes, the broken nights are exhausting. But as a first time mum I found the self-doubt (“What am I doing wrong? Am I encouraging the baby to wake by feeding/cuddling her at night? Am I creating a rod for my own back?” Etc) even more debilitating. It took me a few months to let go of that and feel confident in my own parenting style. I’ve made my peace now with the frequent night waking. It’s still bone crushingly tiring. But at least I’m not wasting precious mental energy obsessing over it. Thanks for posting. Hope you get some good sleeps this week.

    • Thank you for your comment Shazia. It really struck a chord with me. I feel exactly the same. Exactly. I believe I’m doing the right thing in how I’m handling sleep. I don’t believe in giving sleep advice – all I’d ever say to a tired mum is: it’s not you. Because it isn’t! And being so devastatingly tired AND dealing with the “creating bad habits” brigade is just too much. When I stopped doing that I felt better, still tired, but better. I still do it because that whole thing of “parents are causing bad sleep / babies need to be trained like puppies” thing is so pervasive it’s hard to get away from it. Anyway, thanks for your comment.

  9. I know that feeling and feel for you. .. our 17 month old son does this to me. .. our 7 year old daughter was the chIld that sleep 7-7 with one midnight feed. So I know it does happen. I also know now that each child is different. .. This too shall pass right? That’s what they all say. .. We do the best we can, our own way.

    • Yep every child is different! That’s why sleep advice is pointless. We all just have to muddle through. Hope you get some sleep soon.

  10. I’m so tired. So fu$&ing tired. I have a 16m old and a 3.5yr old and some days I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack over the fact that I haven’t slept properly in over 4 yrs (didn’t sleep at all through first pregnancy due to anxiety). My kids have both had gastro lately. There is vomit fu?$ing everywhere. Today when I looked at all of my washing I was defeated in more ways than one. I decided I’d pay just about anything to get someone to pick it up and do it and bring it back. I went and told hubby that I was calling in the emergency washing service to pick it all up. I told him we are paying whatever it costs and if that includes a sexual favour, well so be it.* Hubby said even he’d do the sexual favour if it meant the vomit-washing Just. Got. Done.* Man came to pick up washing. No sexual favors were provided, but I very possibly scared him off by either a) my sheer enthusiasm at opening the door to him, or (more likely) b) the stench coming from the vomit-washing. You are not alone. I’m tired too šŸ™‚

    *#joking #jokingnotjoking #itwouldhavetobeallfiftyloads

    • ?? oh you poor thing! What an incredible picture! Glad you didn’t have to give any sexual favours (who has the energy for that haha!) Gastro is the worse and I hope your nights are vomit free from here on in X

  11. You are right, it is shit! You are also right that it does pass ( as a Mum of a 9 and 7 year old). But when you are in the thick of it, it is soo hard to keep going sometimes. I feel for you because I still remember how hard it was. Wishing you a solid five hours sometime this week ?

  12. I’m on to my fourth baby ( 4 months old). I feel less tired than I did with my first ( now 7.) I tried everything, read everything to try and get him to sleep! Now I’m just like, I’m not reading anything, I won’t expect baby to sleep thru at all before age one,, and when the baby wakes up I feed her in bed and fall asleep again together. And then I get up and drink coffee! And I am enjoying this (last!) baby so much. I’m fairly sure I am just used to the lack of sleep now :-/ Now when people tell me their baby sleeps well I know they are either lying or lucky! Here’s hoping for sleep all round tonight ! Hope you have a restful week.

    • Yes!! How different would life be if everyone accepted that babies probably won’t sleep through consistently until one?!? Other than when they’re tag teaming, when it’s just the baby waking it does feel easier than first time when I was so convinced he Should be sleeping. Now I know that it doesn’t matter what you do, it feels way less stressful! Thanks for your comment!

  13. As usual, you take exactly how I am feeling and put in to succinctly hilarious and gorgeous words šŸ™‚ Sleep deprivation sucks is about as eloquent as I get on the subject right now. But my favourite thing? All of the comments from your ‘online village’ – we’re all right there with you in spirit. Bloodshot and baggy-eyed spirits šŸ™‚

    • Yes, I’m so incredibly grateful for and lucky to have such lovely parents reading and commenting here! Makes me feel so much better. Thank you for the kind words. I don’t feel eloquent so that means a lot!

  14. Yes. So much… yes! I never really thought of all the other mothers doing the same as I am doing when I lurch around the house at night, or when someone creeps in and touches my face or I am cleaning vomit off the carpet at 3am. It feels so lonely at the time… but you’re so right! We are not the only ones going through this, and sleep will come to us all in the end. Good luck too, for YOUR week ahead! šŸ™‚

  15. You have written my life in pretty much the same words I would have used. You missed the bit where when you might have been able to sleep by some weird mix of circumstances (eg the baby, for no reason out of the blue actually sleeps for 4 hours in a row after being put to bed), you stay up stuffing around on social media or watching some random crappy movie on television because you’re too confused to go to bed and also relishing the freedom, and then oops it’s too late, the baby gets up … šŸ™‚

    • Oh yeah I’m the worst at that! Blogging/replying to comments isn’t good for getting sleep, but it is good for not making me feel crap! Balance haha!
      The other night I sat in front of the TV for 30 minutes and my husband came in and said “why are you watching Doc McStuffins?” I hadn’t even noticed ?

    • This is so true! Sometimes you just want to mess about on the internet and play candy crush on your phone (at the same time, obvs) and switch your brain off, even you know you should be using that time to sleep.

  16. You are not alone. My 13 month old wakes up 5-8 times a night. I run on just 4-6 hours of sleep every single day. And we still manage to run the houehold! Cooking cleaning washing over and over again. WE ARE THE TRUE ATHLETES. my husband who gets to sleep all night still complains he is so tired during the course of the day and that has made me want to punch him.
    Don’t sweat it. We are the awesome zombie mothers. There is a light at the emd of the tunnel. i really really hope. Cheers.

    • Round of applause for the zombie mums! ???????? I’m amazed sometimes at what I can achieve on so little sleep.

  17. currently reading this, rocking the Moses basket, crossing my fingers the almost 5 week old will drift off any minute, as if I get up and go to the toilet now, he will wake up and I will have to start all over again.

    • Good luck! It seems particularly unfair that so many mums have to spend so much time trying not to pee right after they’ve given birth!

  18. My toddler yells out things like “Gooood night… (Then lists off what seems like about 40 things in the wee hours)”, “Love you milk” or my personal salt rubbed wound “Mummy wants a shower. ALONE!” at 4am. (I really DO want a shower alone if I’m honest.)

    Next kid I’m ordering a Sleeper because H just isn’t one. She’s a I’ve quit all day naps at 21 months and still only thing I need 5 hrs kind of child.

    • A shower ALONE is the best! I ordered a sleeper, must have got the wrong order haha! Hope you get some sleep soon!

  19. I’m not sleeping either! Everyone (the internet, family, Plunket etc.) reckon it’s my fault, but I’m just starting to realise that’s bullshit, I just got the baby I got. Hang in there. I’m assuming sleep comes when they get old enough that you can ditch them with grandparents for a wknd. Imagine, 48hrs alone, to sleeeeeep!

    • It’s total bullshit. And yes, thank god for grandparents! I am dropping subtle hints about maybe taking baby already haha.

  20. “I want to sleep so bad it hurts. Not a nap here and there but a REAL PROPER FIVE HOURS.” … Me too!!! šŸ™‚

    • Isn’t it a sad state of affairs when 5 hours is considered a bit of a luxury? Pre-babies, I would have been moaning and complaining about how exhausted I was with anything less than 6.5 hours a night, while now that’s a pretty good night.

  21. You will sleep again. For longer than 5 hrs in a row. And it will be heaven because you’ll never just how much you could achieve while you were exhausted. I’m running a marathon this weekend and one of the mantras that I use when I get really tired is “You’ve been tireder before. This is nothing compared to two kids under 2.”

  22. I feel ya! And reading this makes me feel better about my choices (co-sleeping, feeding to sleep, demand feeding- the lot!). From one sleep deprived Mumma to another, thanks.

  23. First baby I tried a little sleep training but I never fully committed as the crying hurt my soul too much and guess what… he eventually slept through the night (just not in his own bed). Second time around I’ve pushed the cot up to the bed with the side off so I can just pop a boob out when she wakes.

  24. I’m tired too. Nice to hear there are so many of us šŸ˜‰ I have just returned from my first ever consecutive nights away from my kids (5 & 2.5yrs). I was nervous and quite sad leaving but pretty excited to experience some nights with full sleeps after 5 yrs of broken ones. Oh how motherhood has changed me. I discovered that everytime a roommate rolled over or snored I was awake instantly and ready to be of assistance. After a frustrating 4 nights of unneeded awakening I returned home to discover my 2.5yr old had begun sleeping 10hrs straight (from the 3hrs when i left) and my husband was well rested. Luckily he has since resumed his 3 hourly wakening since I have been home. Apparently ‘mummy cuddles’ are worth waking up for šŸ™‚ At least I know he CAN sleep through…even if he WON’T. What gets my through those real shit nights/weeks is simply thinking that one day they won’t need me like this. The days are long but the years seem to go very quick. Good on you and the other mums for believing in yourself. We all do the best we can.

  25. Thank you! These are my exact thoughts you’ve written here. Glad I’m not alone. Thanks ? and hope sleep returns to you soon

  26. I love how honest you are. We need that, it makes us feel less alone. My children are a little older now, but the memory of that time hasn’t diminished! It was soul destroying. My husband would work seven 12hr nights in a row. Also he would be studying all evening on day shifts for a long time. No family and three young children with a teenager too. I even used to do a couple of shifts myself a week. Crazy.
    I think it’s worn me out for good. However, now I don’t work and the kids are at school all day, my husband doesn’t do crazy hours (usually) and the now 21yr old is now living an independent life (very proud) . Its easier now, but I hear your pain.
    Thanks again for your honesty, that is something that is the most helpful to everyone when you feel alone, not useless advise or platitudes.

  27. Thank you! I think this post might have just stopped me from going completely insane

  28. I barely got through my children being little. The older one didn’t sleep through until 2, the younger was 10 months.
    What made me want to comment is that you say you have trouble sleeping now even when they aren’t waking. This was the same for me. It turned out I had narcolepsy. I was tired before kids (and it wasn’t at all uncommon for me to sleep in lectures, on buses, and indulge in purposeful napping every weekend etc), but it was only when I had kids and realised how every one else was more or less getting on with things that I began to realise it was me.
    That said, don’t expect your doctor to be sympathetic. It took them five years after the 2nd child’s birth to finally send me for a sleep study. You’d think if someone was saying they’re tired and inappropriately sleepy/ having trouble sleeping, a sleep disorder might be one of their first considerations! Anyway, I hope you are on the spectrum of normal (and that everything will right with the growing of your children) but consider there may possible be a medical reason for your personal sleep woes. My thoughts are with you. Good luck.

  29. 1. Ham is SO CUTE!
    2. Seriously, what is it with kids being terrifying at night?? Mine woke me up once when she was 6, standing over my bed mumbling in tongues…turns out she was a sleepwalker, but creepy as, I still sleep with one eye open…
    3. Here’s wishing you all more sleep x

  30. Please don’t feel lonely. Next time you do, think of us all reading this, nodding, sitting on the couch at whatever time, feeling the same.

    Today I drove loops around an entire suburb for an hour because I thought the song my 19 month old was singing in the back was her “I’m about to go to sleep” song, and if I just drive around the roundabout once more, she might just nod off.

    It ended with drive thru nuggets for my lunch at 3pm and a tantrum because I wouldn’t share my fries.

    You aren’t alone. xx

  31. I just wanted to say that I totally thought about this post last night when our baby was up six times and again this morning when I was facing a long, sleep-deprived day with her and her big sister. It is so much easier when you know you aren’t the only one, so thanks šŸ™‚

  32. Dear Emily. I am sorry you are not getting enough sleep. Me neither. My six month old used to sleep for 8 hours at a time… now he sleeps for 3. Maybe 4. And now I am working full time. (Which actually in many ways is awesome because I have the best, most supportive work team ever and I love them…) But anyway, the point of my comment is to say that Snapchat is the best thing that has ever happened when you are waking in the night to feed. When I am up at some hideous hour I sometimes Snapchat my friend whose son is 4 months younger than mine… and we commiserate with colourful scribbles and ridiculous emojis. (and sometimes pictures of poo explosions). It’s the best! And totally takes away the lonely feeling and turns it into the feeling of being in an elite and exclusive club. Ha!

    • Thank you Helen. Oh isn’t that always the way? When you need sleep most you can’t get it. I’m glad you have a great team around you. I hope you get some sleep soon. Might see you on Snapchat!

  33. I actually shouted ‘That’s a lie!’ at my parents when they tried to tell me that most babies sleep through. They don’t.

    I feel guilty because I’m prone to insomnia and the husband (as an adult at least) is really good at sleeping and what if our baby sleeps badly because she’s inherited my insomnia and she’ll have lifelong sleep issues too and it’s all my fault? I sometimes struggle to keep in mind the fact that 60% of babies don’t consistently sleep through, and a baby sleeping though just means 5 hours anyway. I try not to make it a big deal… But yeah, people telling me to let her cry (and then when I forcibly tell them my objections to CIO, tell me they mean let her cry but not get distressed. Leave her to self-soothe but not let her get distressed. She is half-waking to cry. She is distressed. If she wasn’t distressed, she wouldn’t be crying! Apparently there are sleep workshop type programs where techniques like this successfully work on children who are a year to 18 months older than her though, so what do I mean, I’m not willing to even try it with my baby?), or that I’m spoiling her, she’s playing me up, etc. etc. really don’t help. And the science is against them so all they’re succeeding to do is wind me up and leave me feeling like crud because I don’t have a magic baby who sleeps well…

  34. I, like you, DREAM (bad choice of word, I stopped dreaming since I had the babe) about getting more than three hours. The ‘T’ word is not to be used in our household and if someone does happen to say the old phrase ‘I’m so tired’ they are met with a blank/i’ll throat punch you sort of look. My personal favourite is “Things will get better!” – well could you give me a specific date/time? Then I can just continue being so tired my eyes feel like they’re falling out of their sockets, if I have an idea of when it might end (by end I mean getting more than 5 hours in a row – imagine!). I often discuss with other Mums that women of the older generation have either forgotten – I quote “You just sort of… forget!” I sure as hell wont be forgetting… or straight out LIE about, not only how HARD parenting is, but how much babies don’t sleep. My Mum thought that us waking after a 45 min nap was ‘normal’ “So I just got you up!” and my mother in law (thanks but no thanks for the advice) well… I’m pretty sure just shut the door and let her babies… “self – settle”. It’s just so hard when there is so much conflicting information on sleep, hence it’s so reassuring to know so many Mums are going through the same sh*t! At the same time I am careful to remind myself how lucky I am, that this is something I wanted, they do bring a lot of joy – it’s just a bit hard to focus on the good when you’re sleep deprived and in the thick of it. Eh? Xx

  35. Thank you for this article!! Makes me feel so much better that this is normal and I’m not alone šŸ™‚